The "separated" guy.
Ladies, this one is straight-up married. Move it right along.
The guy who insults you in order to hit on you.
This isn't third grade, guys– if you pick on us, we aren't going to get the message that you're interested. Long emails about how wisdom tooth extractions are a scam are not going to go over well with a dentist, a lecture on how I shouldn't be so picky since I have "baggage" isn't going to go over well with a single mom, and messages that say nothing but "hey MILF" are not going to go over well with anyone, unless it's sent to a woman looking for a guy in my next and final category, which is…
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The sugar daddy guy.
You'd be surprised at the number of emails I've gotten offering compensation of some kind for dating them. These guys are all over the place— from the guy who offered me clothes, lingerie, and time on his exercise machines to a guy who offered to pay my bills to the guy who came right out and asked if I was looking for a sugar daddy ("I think there's a name for women who do that," I told him sweetly. "It starts with an 'h' and ends with an 'ooker'.").
Sigh. I'm getting pretty discouraged with the whole online thing, you guys. Any categories to add? Please post them in the comments! It's a public service project, really.
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