Breakup is hard to get over it. Learn the powerful mindset and details to get over breakups.
Why it’s called breakup? Because something in the relationship is broken. Going through the breakup is hard but can’t be avoided. In this article, I will share an important mind set and 7 steps you can take to make the recovery easier. I will also introduce the ultimate goal of recovering from a breakup.
You may find other places taking about how to get over a breakup, but I rarely see anywhere introduce the concept of mind set.
Why mind set? As we all know how powerful mind set can impact in our life, so does recovering breakups.
What is the mind set? I know how hard, regret, guilty you may feel about the breakup, but I want you to keep this in your mind: ‘Don't take a breakup as a punishment to you.’ Tell yourself:
- The breakup was not a punishment for something you did wrong in the relationship.
- The breakup was not proof that you weren’t pretty enough, smart enough, or a good enough person.
- The breakup did not mean that you’d cared for your ex too much, or that it was your fault for falling in love with him.
What is the ultimate goal of getting over a breakup? You may think it’s very clear that the goal is to just move on. That actually is your goal, but you should not only stop there, you should focus on how to live well and be happy. As relationship experts said being well is the best revenge for a breakup. Being well is also preparing you for the next relationship.
With the right mindset and clear goal, you’ll just need the following small steps to crawl out of the grief. Here are the 7 steps of how to get over a breakup.
- Write all your feelings down. Writing your feelings down on a piece of paper can actually help you recover from the grief. You need to be really honest with yourself and write down exactly how you feel about the breakup as this moment. Keep writing down your feelings often and when you look back after a while, you will see how your feelings are changing and how your broken heart is mending. It backs you up that you actually are able to move on.
- Meet your friends. Socializing with friends will keep you away from thinking about your breakup and your friends can also help you out. Your friends are the trust ones you can talk to them about your breakups. You will feel much better if someone can listen to you, and share your feelings. It’s very important you know someone is with you, sharing your feelings. You won’t feel alone.
- Don’t fall into a rebound. Breakups often cause people to feel insecurity and lonely. The possibility of getting involved in a new relationship will increase under this kind of emotion, because we are seeking for stability and security. We might just want to get a new relationship to cover the grief from previous relationship. This kind of rebound relationship is usually making your emotion more confused and complicated. Because the new relationship might make you feel happy and exciting while the unsolved sad emotion is often recalled.
- Learn new hobbies or participate in your old hobbies. Hobbies are more than just great. People who have interesting hobbies often have a healthier and happier lifestyle. Plus they are often attractive to opposite genders. Participating in your hobbies often takes you away from your break up and hobbies can bring you enjoyment to cheer you up from the inner side of you.
- Take care of yourself. Nobody can take care of you except yourself. Always remind yourself that your breakup is not the punishment to you, so there is no reason to punish yourself when mending your broken heart. Eat well, go to bed on time, exercise…etc. You have to push yourself to keep your daily routine as usual.
- Don’t be workaholic. You may think that immerse yourself into heavy workload can keep you away from thinking the breakup. It is not recommended as it will create an imbalance lifestyle for you that will affect your health and it won’t actually bring any help for mending your broken heart. You are actually avoiding the emotions. However, the emotion won’t disappear. It will stay in you as flood stays behind the dam, once there is too much flood than the dam can hold the dam collapse.
- Look for professional help. There is no shame to go to a therapist for help. Breakup is painful and the broken heart is hard to mend sometimes, especially when we think of the time, effort, emotion, and a lot of other things we committed into our relationships.
Bonus Tip: There are some people who broke up their relationship seem can never be cheered up, no matter if they are hanging out with friends or participating in events.
If you find your self are this kind, you’ll need to set a time limit for being grieved everyday. For example, you give yourself 20 minutes a day to think about your breakup. You set the alarm o’clock for 20 minutes and once the alarm goes off, you immediately stop and move to other things you scheduled. This method has surprisingly proved human body can react to alarm and send the message ‘time for next thing’ to the brain. I suggest arranging some activities right after.
Last but not least, reading these tips won’t help you to get over a breakup. You must take action to implement. With the mindset, goals and detail steps, another thing you need is time. Some people can recover in a short time and some people just simply need more time. You’ll just have to believe in yourself that you will get over it.