Are You Substituting Food for Sex?


Are You Substituting Food for Sex?
On our search for sexual satisfaction, somehow we've lost our way in a big box of chocolate.

Too many of us live our lives holding "forbidden desire" and it shuts us down all the way to our toes. You can open it up and taste your "forbidden fruit" in so many ways. Use it in your fantasies without shame, speak it, read about it, watch it. You can free it up whether you fulfill it or not. The cost is too high to your health, happiness, creativity, and your love life to keep it in the dark. Let the light in. You may find that you are less hungry.

The goal is for a chocolate chip cookie to be just a chocolate chip cookie, to be enjoyed for the cookie's sake. Not as a replacement drug to help you forget your sexual loneliness, or a poor stand in for sexual pleasure or our repressed sexual desires.


When we open our own private Pandora's Box, and begin to explore that it might not be about the food, but something bigger and even more primal and forbidden than that chocolate-dipped Twinkie, we are making a tremendous first step into patching the holes that are preventing our stomachs from telling us that we are full.

But stepping forward and saying that it is not about the food, but that our disordered eating (no matter how that manifests) is about how we stop ourselves from really going deep in our relationship with our partners, our own bodies, and our sexuality can be incredibly scary. There is no way that we cannot touch upon the deepest of issues in our lives (and there are few things as central as sex and food) without feeling uncomfortable. Go slow, and get support.

Difficult and sensitive issues are sure to surface. But that is where we find our freedom, and eventually touch our bliss.

When we are trapped in a relationship with food as a replacement for anything other than the food, my suggestion is to go slowly. There is a wonderful free summit on eating disorders going on right now, and the talks will remain up so that you can listen in at any time. Jack into the summit. You will even meet experts who believe that it has everything to do with the food.

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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