You can’t change the way your marriage unfortunately worked out, and now you need to find a way to move on. Maybe you won’t be a stay-at-home mom for five years. Maybe you won’t have a country-club lifestyle. Maybe you won’t have that house by the beach or the unlimited shopping sprees for organic groceries at Whole Foods, and that’s going to have to be okay. The quicker you can realize what reality you’re in now, the better you’re going to feel.
6. Choose your preferred method of communication (phone, e-mail, or text):If you’re in an angry divorce, I strongly suggest e-mail as the best way to communicate, because the phone can lead to more fighting which is the last thing you want to do. Fighting with daddy in front of the kids on the telephone while you’re on your way out is not a good way to set the tone for the day. A lot of us have Bluetooth in our car. Imagine him calling and you push the wrong button and you’re not able to control yourself in front of the kids and you have an argument. They’ve witnessed enough fights when you were together. They don’t need to be consumed by it anymore. E-mail is simple. You can read and react to that e-mail, and then you can save it as a draft and then re-read it again. Then comb back through it and take out all of the venom, the hate the angst and just make it about the children. This will keep you sane and the situation under control. Like I said earlier, pick a person to vent to so you don’t have to vent in your communications with your ex.
Ladies, please adhere to these easy, simple tips. It’s going to make your life run so much smoother and reduce turbulence during this difficult time.
And like I said, if you really are that angry, talk to somebody. Because if you cause any of these things to happen, you’re going to likely splinter a relationship with your ex for the rest of your life. Don’t forget, if you have kids, your ex is somebody who’s going to be family with you forever. Think about things long-term instead of short-term. There are plenty of professionals out there that can help you get through this. Remember, the most successful people in life are those who think about how their actions today will affect them tomorrow.