2. Do initiate battles: Venting your feelings or frustrations to him will only waste your own time. Accept that it’s over. The time to do that has passed so now you have to act like an adult and deal with the reality of the situation.You’re both disappointed and you both need to heal. If you did not have children, you probably would not be in contact with each other at all, so keep communication focused on the kids and refrain from bringing up old wounds.
If you think you’re able to talk to him in a civil manner about the relationship – fine. But, if you get emotional and intentionally try to make him feel bad, then he’ll get defensive and take a few uppercuts of his own, which only leads to more fighting and where did that get you guys before? Keep the e-mails simple, straightforward and only about your children or the settlement. You’re now in a business relationship - get used to it. Use what you learned at work and speak with grace, class and professionalism.
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3. Save the drama for your mama: Do not vent to your circle of friends. The division of friends is coming as it always does in almost every single divorce. You find out who your real friends are as they start to choose one side or the other. Anything can happen and it’s not always in your control. I’ve seen (in my 14 years of coaching) parents choose their son-in-law or their daughter-in-law over their own son or daughter.