We’ve all heard of the phrase “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Hopefully it wasn’t being said to you. It’s a hard thing to let someone down, especially a person that cares for you more than you care for them. What does this phrase mean? Moreover, how can you express this sentiment to someone you care for deeply while causing the least amount of pain? We’ll explore some key ideas that can help you break the news as easily as possible:
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Love: Humans need to give and receive love for emotional and physical reasons. In fact, there have been studies in orphanages that show physical contact is vital to well-being. Babies who are not held or nuzzled enough will literally stop growing, even if they are receiving proper nutrition. Literally loving one another is crucial to our overall wellness. Fortunately, mutual loving can be exchanged between close friends, family members and beloved pets. You don’t have to be exclusively romantic partners.
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In love: Being “in love” is a precious, euphoric experience. This is a deeper bond that goes beyond the boundaries of love as defined above. Your significant other’s happiness and emotional needs are paramount to you. To be in love is a rare experience. Think of all the people you love and have loved in your life, then narrow that down to the chosen few that you were willing and hoping to spend forever with. I’m willing to bet that list shrunk considerably.
How do you tell someone “I love you but I’m not in love with you?”: This is not easy to say. However, if you don’t mirror someone else’s feelings, then it’s critical that you communicate it concisely and with compassion. It is incredibly important to keep it simple.
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In a new relationship: It is easy to get caught up in that invigorating feeling when you meet someone new. Remember, that adrenaline rush could lead someone to mistake their intimate feelings for genuine love. If you don’t feel the same way, you need to be crystal clear about it.