3) Abuse in any form is a dealbreaker. I once wrote about the four year long relationshit (you read that right) I had ended back in 2010. He was abusive in every which way possible, to a point where I still haven't divulged everything to anyone that had occured over that horrible time period. I understand that how at first things can start off so magical and seemingly flawless, all first signs of trouble ahead get pushed aside and seen as only small character blemishes, but the moment you are ever threatened to be or are actually struck, or you see them act out in scary behavior towards anyone else, there is no reason at all to stay. None.
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4) Selflessness, not Selfishness is key. Yes, it is truly important to be happy on your own before you can be happy with someone else. Yes, it is important to focus on your wants and needs to find someone with the same values and goals. However, once you are in the right relationship, you can't help but desire to put your partners happiness ahead of your own, or at least, make theirs an incredibly huge priority in your life that it's difficult not to strive in doing so. If you find that you don't have those instincts, or your partner clearly doesn't have them for you, then what is the point of being together at all?
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5) Cheating is cheating is cheating is cheating. Did you read that right? I know that there are counselors and therapists galore who believe that one mistake can be forgiven and worked through. Maybe you're even one of those believers. But you know what, from every experience with dating the cheaters I have, each claiming that they never would again.... fell through with that bullshit lie every time. Every single time. Monogamy is NOT asking too much and it is NOT something that can't be done. If you aren't a fool, then when the first 'mistake' is made, you should be counting it as the last and WALK. If you can't control your own impulses while you're already committed, take that as the sign that you shouldn't be committing to anyone yet and a relationship is the last thing you should be part of.
6) If you both see different futures, it isn't meant to be. There are two kinds of people in this world; those that settle down, and those that don't, there is no in between. The obstacle in this scenario is time. Biological clocks can wail anywhere from late teens to a woman's mid forties. Men can run around enjoying bachelorhood for decades. It is a mere stroke of luck meeting a special someone at the right place and right time. It is important to keep in mind that in even finding your other half, you must acknowledge what it is that they want for the future. If it doesn't match up with yours, waiting in hopes that they'll come around won't work. Pretending to feel the same that they do and secretly hoping they'll change their mind also won't work. Yes, there are the exceptions who change when they meet the infamous 'One', but, most of us don't. We want what we want, and that's that. Don't settle for anything less than what you absolutely deserve.