The next time you begin explaining your partner's behavior to a friend, pretend your friend is telling this to you. What is your reaction? Do you tell your friend to walk away or do you tell her to stick with it and see what happens? Do you tell your friend that the writing is on the wall or that perhaps she should talk to her partner and forgive him? This exercise takes a tremendous amount of brutal honesty with yourself.
There is no point in lying to yourself with any of these processes, because it will not get you where you want to be. For years I made excuses for my partner. I was incredibly patient with the most ridiculous behavior displayed by what was supposed to be a grown man. When I finally decided that I was done making excuses, the relationship was over. And, the most important thing shifted inside of me that I was no longer going to make excuses for a man not being a grown up. It was time to take off the Peter Pan costume and show up in a relationship in an adult, caring, compassionate and nurturing manner.
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Once I got this, along with many other things, the type of men I dated (including the one I finally married) changed dramatically. You do not have to live with half a partner. I believe you innately know what is right for you and what is not. Begin taking a loving stand for yourself and make it your mantra to attract someone just as wonderful as you are. Remember something very important, the partner you seek wants you in their life, just as much as you want them in your life. Did you get that? The relationship you are seeking, is seeking you.
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Read more from the Stop Dating & Find Love series here.