Self-help books and passive aggressive coworkers are always reminding us “You’re your own worst enemy,” and while we usually tend to roll our eyes at both… they’ve got a point. It’s easy to point out the flaws of those around us, especially those around us with really cute boyfriends, but it’s not as easy to recognize our own shortcomings. While exes, old friends and your mother can probably tell you one hundred different reasons why you’re to blame for the things your life is lacking, their negativity isn’t doing helping you to remedy your issues. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong with us or our lives, it’s more proactive to recognize the behaviors we exhibit that keep us from ditching our dire ways. Self-sabotage is a sneaky little monster, and you can’t get rid of it until you know how it works. Stop making the same mistakes and get to the root of the problem by focusing on this list of all-too-common anti-self behaviors.
1. Cut Out the Overly High Expectations: If you go on a first date and decide afterward that he’s your future husband, you’ve set your expectations way too high. Now, the first time he lets you down, he’s not a new beau that’s made a mistake. Instead, he’s your husband-to-be and his actions hold a lot more weight than the relationship merits. The same can be said for expecting a $10,000 raise after one year on the job or by expecting your new friend to house sit while you’re away on a two week cruise to the Bahamas. If you set your expectations unreasonably high, you’re not staying grounded, and that will definitely blowup in your face. The more blowups you have, the less you’re going to accomplish. Instead, keep your expectations sane! If you’re let down, you have a right to be upset and can create a plan to keep that disappointment from returning. At least then you’ll have the ability to move forward.
Related: Five Things to Look for In a Wife