Weird News: Eye Dilation Is The New 'Gaydar'

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A study suggests pupil dilation in response to porn can indicate your sexual orientation.

His mouth says, "I love chicks, bro," but his eyes tell a different story. And that story begins with an unhealthy obsession with going to the gym and ends with the thought, "Aw crud-cookies, this is going to make Thanksgiving really awkward."

A new study suggests that a guy's "gayve-away" may have less to do with a limp wrist, a light pair of loafers and a penchant for the color Pink — and more to do with eyeball dilation. The study, scientific as it gets, measured the shrinking and growth of guy's pupil when he's exposed to various erotic, visual stimuli (re: porn).

The study used infrared sensors to detect dilation as the test subjects were exposed to sexual imagery of both men and women. Not shockingly, homosexual men experienced great dilation while viewing a male video (some guy masturbating), while gay women and straight dudes got eye-boners from female imagery (a woman experiencing a beautiful auto-erotic experience). The study results get a little interesting when it comes to self-identified heterosexual ladies: They got all hot 'n' bothered (via their eyeballs) for both lady and guy erotica. Anyone who has been to a party in Cancun or dated a girl who used pornography recreationally will not be surprised by that last nugget, but the rest of you (I mean "us") are surely flabbergasted by this sexual capriciousness. It's refreshing that we now have a way to quantify female sexual fluidity outside of counting the number of times women kiss in a Girls Gone Wild video. How To Seduce Difficult Women

Since we are years off from having portable infrared sensors, and decades off from not being uptight about showing porn to strangers, we'll likely have to qualify these findings as "useful" but of no practical application for figuring out if your date is gay and doesn't know it. That can take years.

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