By Ché Blackwood for Cupid's Pulse If romantic comedies and romance novels are to be believed, all single women are on a crazed mission to marry the man of their dreams. They aren’t on a journey to know themselves, find a job they love, test out their creativity or enjoy life: those are all secondary goals on the road to getting a husband. Of course, Hollywood also says women wear makeup to bed, so it’s clear that cinema doesn’t always portray things the way they really are. In the real world, humans are complex, and true inner happiness takes more than sporting a ring on your finger. Before getting swept up in the mighty hype of marriage, take stock of these components of your life and be sure you’re nourishing them as well: Related: Celebrate Being Single This Year 1. Your goals: Planning ahead, working hard and motivating yourself to accomplish your personal goals are some of life’s most rewarding challenges. The more you accomplish, the more your life will open up. Go back to school, save enough money to buy a brand new car, write a book, whatever. Once you start meeting your goals, you’ll realize just how capable you are. Plus, you’ll be happier. Without achieving personal fulfillment on your own, you’ll never be completely fulfilled while in a relationship. 2. Your fears: It’s scary to take risks, because when you do you can often lose something. Of course, you’ll also find new benefits when you take chances. Moving to a new city could make you lonely, but it also could open your world to romantic restaurants, new friends and amazing experiences. Even if you fail, the rewards of learning from your mistakes are too large to miss out on. Until you feel comfortable facing your fears, you won’t be able to navigate the tough waters of love. Nothing is as risky as leaving your heart in the hands of someone else, and it’s too difficult to even attempt until you’ve learned how to lose as well as win. 3. Your career: It might seem obvious, but if you can’t provide for yourself, you’re also going to have a hard time providing for anyone else. Full-time jobs, high salaries and executive positions are never required for happiness, but you definitely need some type of income. In this economy, an even greater challenge is finding a job you actually like.
The best position for you is, quite often, simply what feels the most comfortable. Certain positions will be less comfortable than others - sometimes being on top, sometimes being underneath. "Experiment and find out what your preference is. Don't feel locked into what's expected of you as far as top or bottom. Perhaps if you have a tilted uterus, certain positions or angles may be more comfortable," says Dr. Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist & SHRINK WRAP media commentator.
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