If one of you wants to settle down within a couple of years, and the other would rather give it an even longer stretch or not settle down at all, you can't change their minds or hope to convince them if they'd give you a chance to state your case. You want the same things or you don't, and if it's the latter, then the best bet would be to keep on truckin' until you find the one that does.
2) Ignoring red flags
I was the Queen of this faux pa, and for a VERY long time to boot. I would make excuses for guys who didn't call when they said they would, guys who would cancel last minute when I had already been waiting over an hour for them to arrive, guys who would stare me down and swear on everything sacred that they would never cheat and then happen to fall between the legs of some skank they'd claim didn't mean anything. You name it, and I've probably heard it. My belief in mankind can be far too strong at times because I've always lived by treating as you wish to be treated and you shall see the same in kind....needless to say, I lost a lot time, energy, and unfortunately money, on many boys who didn't know the first thing about being men. Women can be just as cruel with deceptive intentions they might be carrying in order to get what they want and then move onto the next sucker who believes their song and dance.
It is imperative that we stop trying to manage and excuse the bad behaviors of others when the only ones we have any control over is ourselves. The moment you find yourself starting to see any questionable actions or hear any statements that have your insides twisting and turning with uncertainty, then it's time to take a step back and maybe get a second opinion. Rose colored glasses can be delightful, but fake love like a fake orgasm, is one shitty deal.
And the number one reason you're alone and still reading this article....
1) Claiming you want a specific relationship, and then choosing the exact opposite instead (over and over again)
Can we choose who we fall for? No. Can we choose whether or not we act on those feelings? Yes. One of the most irritating things I witness quite often among friends and/or family who state that they know what they want and are looking out for, is when they pair up with someone who doesn't at all fit who they wanted and who they actually need/deserve and then fall over in complete devastation and surprise when it doesn't work out. What the hell?! It's even usually great big assholes that they've caught and want to hold onto. These lost souls won't get, or want to listen to your suggestions and observations of their continual mistake because they are convinced that each one is different from the next and better than the last (I would know, because I've done so myself).
It is true by what is said that when you honestly believe you deserve the best, you will be rewarded with the best, but you have to REALLY believe it. You can't say you want someone who is as faithful as a dog and then make excuses for them when caught screwing one of your so called best friends. You can't state needing someone who desires to be a provider to their family when they have been unemployed many months and still live at home with their mother who cooks their meals and folds their laundry. When you see that they are most or everything that you without questiom don't want, you DON'T STAY and hope things change. Just like with the red flags, we can not shape someone into our Mr/Mrs Right. That is why the grand majority have to shuffle through a line of nobodys to find that special somebody who is everything we could ever hope for.
So there you have it, the list of no-no's that are holding you or someone you know, back. Now that you've had your memory refreshed, it is time to put this reminder to good use and keep it in check as you venture on your dating quest, or better yet, pass this note along to a jackass you know who could very well take the hint themselves.