You're Single Because You're Stupid


You're Single Because You're Stupid
In a world full of so much disappointment, your Love Life should not be part of that equation.

Biologically, we are all driven to find and bed a mate. From the occasional fling, to locking it down through the legal system, everyone shares that same desire of human connection. So with all of that need coursing through our veins, why are YOU sitting at home in your studio apartment streaming Netflix on your laptop, gaming on your Xbox, or mercilously weeping into ugly couch pillows over the sufferage of a non existent dating life? Why does everyone else seem to be so blissfully in love while you remain the pitied Single of your immediate circle of friends? Sure, you can blame that one Ex for scarring you so greatly making faith and trust in someone new an impossible feat, you can accuse the cosmos for sending every astrological opposite your way instead of the 'perfect match' Yahoo Shine religiously insists for you daily via email spam, or you can face the real reason that you haven't been able to join the rest of the rose colored ranks; You.

In my last article, I did some mentioning of how we can be our own worst enemies by having certain expectations when it comes to our personal lives. If you want to get to a place where you can find and keep a happy, healthy relationship, then you need to get out of your own fucking way. The roadblocks I'm speaking of are common knowledge, but these are five regular offenses being made anyway that are keeping you dateless and alone. The handful of mistakes are as follows:


5) Whining constantly about being alone

It begins innocently enough; your boyfriend or girlfriend gives you the boot and you go through the common stages that manifest after a breakup (denial, anger, sadness over the loss). You are constitutionally allowed by the unspoken laws of the Dating Game to complain about said Loser, everything that was wrong with them, and even your dread over having to start the process all over again, but there is a limit on the time frame you can bitch everyone into wanting to punch your whiny ass for being so emo. Listen, I get heartache okay? I've dumped, been dumped, and I understand the feelings from both sides, but I also keep myself under control. It's an all too common example; women posting rants on their Facebook pages about all the 'good ones' being taken in between Tumblr quotes about broken hearts and sharing a liberating Beyonce pop anthem to give the facade she's moved on when clearly being single is all where she wants to put her focus.

You know what's worse than a crying female? A depressing, weepy male who mopes over being alone. Women are crazy, it is an expected stereotype for us to get a little off our rockers during the time we wait on Mr. Right. But men, you should not be giving up your man card to join us in the estrogen fest. Sensitive guys can be great, but the minute you start to sound and act just like us, you obliterate your chance of reeling a new girl in anytime soon. We want strong, go getter types who are confident in themselves and what they have to offer. Your absolution to cry for redemption like an excerpt from the Vagina Monologues will keep you friend zoned for longer than I'm sure you'd care to be.

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