The Super Horny Guy Who's Around A Lot: Here's a surprise: that guy with three beers in his hands, a Bon Jovi song on his lips, and photos of naked girls on his iPhone might actually have something to teach you about your love life. The moral of his story? You're hot! And he'd like to hit on you. Often. No one is saying you should actually hook up with the Super Horny Guy or take him too seriously, of course. But if you let yourself enjoy his attention and maybe even play into his ridiculous, fun game for a bit, you'll be able to take that confidence and light attitude and infuse it into your relationships with the more legitimate prospects in your gaggle.
The Accessory: When you have a close male friend who is willing to hit up the Farmer's Market, catch a movie and twirl your grandmother around the dance floor at your family wedding, you get to free yourself up from the desperation and of wanting a boyfriend – any boyfriend! - to accompany you in these typically couple-like scenarios. Your Accessory can be a positive and regular male presence in your life and give you a sense of the type of partnership and camaraderie you'd like to eventually have with a genuinely romantic partner. Dating 101: How To Know He Wants To Kiss You
The Hot Sex Prospect: Just the touch of this guy can leave you lightheaded and giddy – which is a perfect opportunity for you to start understanding what types of men, situations and interactions turn you on. Whether the very sight of his manly beard leaves you weak in the knees or you can't stop daydreaming about last night's late-night visit, having a Hot Sex Prospect is a direct path for you to explore your own unique sexuality and have a little (or lot!) of fun with it, in or out of a serious relationship.
The Unavailable Guy: This guy in a relationship might be off-limits, but that doesn't mean you can't cultivate a friendship with him that makes your own romantic relationships even healthier. Your Unavailable Guy obviously understands how relationships work, and, well, he's a guy – so ask him for love advice! Pick his brain about your new gaggle prospect. Watch and listen to how he interacts with his girlfriend or wife, and determine what parts of their dynamic you would and would not like to have in your own relationships. You've got a front-row seat to the male side of a relationship. Start taking notes.
I explain who the other five guys in your gaggle are in my new book, The Gaggle: How the Guys You KNow Will Help You Find the Love You Want.
Also, if you live in the NYC area, come meet me and my co-creator, Rebecca Weigand, at the launch party for our book at Henri Bendel on July 31! Get all the details here and RSVP by July 27.