Expectations Vs. Realities; Don't Be Your Own Worst Enemy


Expectations Vs. Realities; Don't Be Your Own Worst Enemy
No one ever has it the best, every stage in every personal life is different and unique.

We can share these feelings and seek out camaraderie, but no one can ever walk in your exact shoes, feeling and knowing exactly what your going through on those 'off days'

* Sharing has its limits, or at least, it should have its limits. Want to bitch about your boss, discuss future vacation getaways, or show off the latest internet meme to your sweetheart? By all means, go for it! Certain things, however, should remain kept to oneself even in a relationship; such as any comparison to or spiteful reminder of any exes, involving yourselves in the personal business of others where you have absolute no involvement or control of, and insisting on being in the presence of your partner while they are in the bathroom after a long night of beer and the impulsive choice-making of a fast food binge


* Pity your friends in the beginning....which eventually will waver from time to time between that and bouts of envy when you've hit a dry spell or just had a major fight and are longing for a day or so of freedom like the unchained counterparts you used to be dying to get away from

* Constant happiness....and days you will be sad, angry, confused, elated, worried.....being Taken doesn't make you immune to having the same feelings you had when you were Single.

When You're Divorced

The Expectations:

*finally free of an unhappy marriage
* another chance to find 'The One' and have it work out
* knowing what you want
* clean slate
* lots of dating prospects (again)
* financial gain/freedom

The Reality:

* Divorces, good or bad, take time to recover from. You can't just bounce back and into a wonderful place internally with such a drastic life change

* Not everyone finds 'The One'. It's a lovely thought, it's a wonderful thought, but the truth is that there just isn't someone for everyone. There are those who truly enjoy a life of solitude, those who prefer companionship, and those who are relentless douchebags who will forever be on their own due to their own ignorance and impossible standards.

* We believe we know what we want when we're Single, until we meet and marry someone who turns out to be a huge mistake and then we end up confused by what we thought we wanted. Our preferences change over the years, the traits we desire in a partner are no exception to that rule.

* Clean slates don't exist. We have all made choices we wish we could take back, and we all know someone who may even have a dirtier past than our own. Ending a marriage will end that chapter, but it won't be obliterated from having ever happened to begin with.

* Dating prospects after divorce are even more scarce than when you were Single because now you were once legally off the market, it didn't work out, and it will look like you're just on the hunt for spouse number two. Having children from a marriage will be an even greater strike against you and keep even more dates at bay

* Money is the greatest dealbreaker and cause of a relationships' demise. Even losing a spouse that may have been the worst manager of your finances doesn't mean that your benjamin problems are over. You still have to pay bills (and possibly child support, alimony, or life threatening lawyer fees) when you divorce.