How To Know When It’s “Just For Fun”: Boundaries For Flings

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How To Know When It’s “Just For Fun”: Boundaries For Flings
Rules for flings, not relationships.

By Daniela Agurcia for Cupid’s Pulse

It seems like having a fling with someone you like is incredibly simple, but it can actually be very complicated. When you’re in a fling, it’s always easy to ask yourself “What are we?" Because of the nature of these sorts of affairs, it seems like there can never be precise boundaries. After all, you’re supposed to get all the benefits of being with someone without having to commit. Still, even though there aren’t any specific rules, you should consider these hidden guidelines for your not-so-serious flings:

Related: 5 Ways To Know If Your Relationship Is Just A Spring Fling

1. Don't have "the talk": If it’s a fling, then you can't assume that your partner is going to fall in love with you and you’ll end up having a relationship. The biggest mistake is assuming. Once you have “the talk” with them about where your fling is headed, things start getting serious. Even worse, if it's not mutual, then things can get uncomfortable. A fling is a fling; don't ruin it with a serious talk.

2. You can't get jealous: Not succumbing to jealousy is probably the hardest part of being in light-hearted fling. Without commitment, you can’t have control over what your partner does when they’re not with you. Make sure you’re in the right mindset and remember that whatever you don't know won't hurt you. Don't go looking for answers that might make you upset.

3. Don't change your life around for them: Because a fling isn’t a relationship, you and your partner shouldn’t be each other’s priorities. Don't cancel plans, lose your friends or base decisions on them. Similarly, don’t try to enter a routine with them: you don’t want to get too comfortable in something temporary . They’re supposed to be convenient, so don't act like you owe a fling anything.

Related: 5 Ways To Keep Your Summer Fling Hot

4. Keep it casual: Even if you keep an ongoing fling for a while, don't feel like you have to introduce your partner to everyone or to invite them everywhere. You don't need to take them to meet your family or even your best friend. Doing things like this can make your fling into a serious partnership, and your goal should always be to keep things casual. Keep all that business for someone who is in a committed relationship with you.

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