I Lost 90 Pounds, But It Didn't Make Me Happy


woman nervous about her weight on a scale
One woman loses weight but finds being thin isn't all she thought it would be.

I was never asked to homecoming, prom or winter formal dances. I didn't go to the beach for spring break with a car full of my classmates or Friday night parties at so-and-so's house. All I could think was: If I could just get skinny, I'd be just like everyone else. Because "everyone else" looked happy with their boyfriends and proms and pool parties.

That's one of the side effects of dieting and hating your body for so long—you begin to assume that thin people have perfect, happy lives and relationships to match their perfectly petite waistlines.


I had it all wrong.

After my freshman year of college, I got serious about my health and weight, and successfully dropped the pounds I felt I could no longer carry physically or psychologically. I was welcomed to that green, grassy proverbial paradise of "thinville" soon thereafter and waited for the feelings of euphoria to set in.

But they never came.

My life changed in a lot of ways after I lost weight. I felt healthy, went out on dates, wore skinny jeans and felt pretty on the beach. But did these changes make me as happy as I thought they would? Not really. Those perfect, blissful feelings I'd waited for my whole life never came, and I was confused.

How many of us go through life idealizing the things we don't have and recklessly pursuing them as if they are the only way we'll ever feel happy? We do this not only with weight but with jobs, marriage, a fairy-tale wedding or becoming famous. I had convinced myself that once I lost weight, I'd become the Alessandra Ambrosio I'd idealized—an empowered, confident vixen with perfect breasts and the perfect love life because of it. 12 Ways To Feel Irresistible Without Losing Weight