One of my all time favorite classes at the University of Iowa was the biology elective called “human sexuality.” I remember exactly three things from this class: 1) According to our extremely prestigious sexologist professor it’s perfect normal to engage in sexual activity with just about anyone including farm animals; 2) It is possible to literally “turn green”—this happened to a guy sitting down the aisle when we were watching a video on penis implant surgery; 3) Taking a human sexuality class leads to the kind of bonding where a group of students decides to skinny dip the last day of class (I participated but had my counterparts swear up and down that they wouldn’t look).
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Because I don’t have much recall from the actual content of the course, these days I get all of my sex advice from Dan Savage. Savage Love is published in syndicate in those weekly free papers every major city has where investigative journalists write about the benefits to smoking pot and other important topics.
Every week I turn to Dan’s page first before I see which concerts I’m going to miss. His articles are in question / answer format where readers write letters asking for advice. For the most part, Dan does a pretty good job not being judgmental (that is unless you’re a conservative homophobic freak who likes to play with scat) and seems to answer the questions exactly the way my previous professor would—except for in the case of exploiting children, sex is a normal part of being human and human beings (being the high functioning souls we are) can get pretty creative when it comes to sex. In most circles this is called being kinky. And according to Dan Savage, we all have our kinks.
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Lately, I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I like the idea of having kinks but I’m a little concerned about how to go on out and find out what they are. This could be a fun thing to do with a regular partner, but I don’t have someone like that in my life, so I have to resort to figuring out my kinks with my occasional lovers—or by myself.