Women are obsessed with the way people perceive them, especially the good girl/bad girl thing.
For a long time I was so worried about being seen as a bitch that I was coming across as unconfident and unassertive. When I asked my husband what was my most attractive trait when we were dating, he said it was my attitude as a survivor and determined girl. I am so grateful he saw it and understood it. Because in my understanding that was exactly my bitch side, the side I was trying to conceal with so much effort and so little result.
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Later I discovered: you can be a bitch and a good girl at the same time and it does not have to be a contradiction. Moreover, everybody is a bitch and a good girl in varying proportions and with varying components. The same goes for men; they are good boys and bad boys at the same time.
Your tame boyfriend who never says ‘boo’ can play the most violent computer games - that is his outlet. My dad, most gentle and sincere at home, is a tyrant at his workshop - that is his outlet.
Please do not be scared of your two sides. Embrace them and you will be amazed with results. You will see that life becomes richer and more rewarding once you stop labelling yourself and others as bitches and good girls. They are just labels to bring a person down, anybody, including yourself.
Maybe instead we should allow ourselves to embrace our emotions and listen to what they tell us.
So if you feel hurt and snap back because your boss criticized you, maybe you should work out why you were hurt. Was it because your expectations on how your idea would be received by your boss were too high? Or was it because you did not present your idea correctly and your boss misunderstood it entirely and hurt you? Next time, in order to avoid being hurt, should you change your attitude, the way you present your ideas or your boss? Work it out.
Allow yourself to feel as opposed to labelling yourself as a bitch who snapped at your boss. Because if you label yourself as a bitch, you will feel terrible your whole life, because how can a bitch be happy? But if you allow yourself to discover what it was that made you react this way, you will be enriched and empowered by the experience.
So, no, you are not a bitch and you never were, and you are not a good girl and you never will be.
You are you.
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That is why you are so irresistible.
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