Ever met a guy that was attractive until he opened up his mouth? And before you start to wonder, I’m not talking about the dreaded case of bad breath. I’m talking about his conversation and actions. I mean within a few minutes of him talking or after the first couple of dates, that little fantasy you had from the moment you laid eyes on him is now somewhere swimming in the sewer of failed opportunity and hope. If you ever had one of these unfortunate encounters, you’re not alone. In fact I like to call guys like this pretty cars with F’d up engines. Now I know that’s a strange analogy, but let me explain. A pretty car with an F’d up engine looks pretty enough to ride but in the end, it can’t get you anywhere and that can be applied to guys (and girls too if there are men out there reading this). I’d be lying if I said that looks aren’t an important factor when dating. The first thing you’re probably going to determine when dating is how attractive a guy is. The problem with this is it’s often the only thing that’s determined. For all you know, he could be a self-absorbed dude with limited conversation and an extensive number of kids , baby mamas or worse. If you don’t take the time to determine what really matters, then his good looks (and good sex if it applies) will be the only thing that he has to offer and the relationship won’t make any real moves. It’s very easy to fall for these kinds of guys because like Christmas presents, it’s wrapped up in shiny packaging. However, once you peel away the layers, there’s not much to be excited about. As hard as it may be ladies, take the blinders off and get to know the person behind the handsomeness. Does it mean you have to grill him to find out if he’s marriage material? No. It just means that it wouldn’t hurt to make sure the guy has some substance to him. Does he has aspirations that he’s working towards? Does it seem like he has a set of values and manners? Does he pick up a newspaper and read current events? Whatever you feel qualifies as substance, check under the hood and make sure that engine is functional.
"Over drinks at a bar my date revealed many interesting details about himself. He used to live on 'the streets.' He claimed to have 'beat Spina Bifida.' He had had a fiancé in Japan who was open to him dating women while he was in the States. After all those amazing revelations I let him know our relationship would not be romantic. As we walked out of the bar he appeared to be suffering from some sort of stomach cramp. He told me he suffered from severe IBS and desperately needed a private bathroom. I have family members who suffer from Crohn's disease so I felt very sympathetic to his situation. I offered to let him use the bathroom in my apartment. After he had finished using the bathroom, he says, 'I know you said we could just be friends and that's fine. But, I was wondering if I could just watch you pee before I leave. I only want to watch.' P.S. — I did not let him watch me pee." -Miranda, 33