A friend's status post on Facebook today inquired opinions on the idea of couples who jointly obtain social networking accounts. The world has gone beyond the presence of shared banking, to proving yourself trustworthy only if by agreeing to shared online profiles. Of course there will be defenders for and against the option. So far, I've only witnessed married folks participating in this action, and I say, to each his own. Rountinely, it is the wife who pulls it altogether, The Mighty Oz behind the curtain running the show, usually because the husband has agreed to it and could care less about social media to begin with. He's aware that the mrs. enjoys being able to share their life together with their joint friends and family in one simple, unified swoop.
Anything wrong with that? Absolutley not.
But there is a darker side that most aren't paying attention to or flat out choose to sweep under the rug in hopes that the infectious online infidelties so many of us catch wind of won't find its way into our own 'safe' relationships. A man and a woman may hit it off, cohabitate, maybe even marry, and blissfully enjoy the perks of being a twosome. They both come together already bearing their own independent social sites and it has never been an issue. Then one day, the man casually scopes out his ladies page when he notices a male from her respected friends list, seemingly 'liking' and commenting on her page. Often. Some of the posts even wreak of a (hopefully) innocent flirtation, but it's hard for him to ignore. Said man then begins to routinely focus on this one friend and creates an endless array of deceptive scenarios in his mind that may or may not even be there solely out of his own insecurities. He then goes to his gal with questions, maybe even 'off the top of his head' suggesting they share an account or swap passwords 'just because', when in reality he's looking for a roundabout way to snoop and confirm his suspicions without directly communicating his concerns to her instead. Mind you, similar scenarios such as this can go either way, it always varies on the person themselves, not the gender.
Let me share my own personal story of online treachery; A couple boyfriends back, I was engrossed in the worst relationship of my life. Sure, like most, it didn't start out that way. We were on good terms for the first couple months before things slowly began to slip, barreling into a full on avalanche of agonizing shit. The first technological red flag presented itself with his cell phone behavior. It would sound off this irritating ping, and he'd salivate and/or laugh at whatever text/picture he was being sent. Nine times out of ten when I would ask what it was, he'd shrug me off with, "It's nothing," said always with a devious smirk on his face to boot. Needless to say, his words meant null to me, and my gut was twisting up regularly thinking that something wasn't right. Did I stay and put up with it? Of course, because that is what sad twenty-two year old naive girls fresh out of a failed marriage and no self esteem do.