Did you know that high achieving women who are successful, gorgeous, intelligent, loving and caring are the world’s worst daters? That does not make sense, right? Actually it does, if you look at dating from another perspective.
What attracts men to women? That mysterious femininity - they want to have something they do not have, they want to feel something they have never felt before. They are not looking for a man, they are looking for a woman. With high achieving females men get men in a beautiful package. From the outside, she is gorgeous and they are attracted. But when they start talking, they realize that the woman is trying to compete with them, trying to demonstrate how superior she is, trying to prove that she is the best in every respect.
How do I know? I used to be the same. You basically try to show a guy that you are so great that he should just grab you and run. But he perceives it as: “oh no, she is so great, I cannot possibly keep up.” He retreats and says that you are just too good for him. You act the way you act, because you know that you are far superior to other women.
For God’s sake, you exercise 5 times a week, you volunteer with an array of organizations, you have a busy social life and a strong career with infinite possibilities, you read Kafka and saw Black Swan, you bought that house yourself and you’ve already paid off your car. You can buy him dinner, and you do not want him to feel as if you are needy or dependent on him.
When the man escapes, you think: I did not sleep with him soon enough or I did it too soon. Or you decide that all men are just idiots. That makes it worse and you enter the vicious circle. That is the superwoman’s way.
What does the Ninja Woman do instead?
The Ninja Woman embraces her femininity and nurtures her caring and loving side. She does not need to go halves for dates. Men fight to pay the bill for her. The Ninja Woman gives emotional comfort to a man and he is instantly attracted to her soft, gentle, feminine nature. She is listening to him without trying to analyze or pick faults. She just lets him be himself and talk about himself in her company and she encourages him with full interest, compliments and admiration. She will analyze it all later, now she is just taking it in. She opens up communication channels, lets the man demonstrate that he is worthy. She does not unravel her tail in response, she does not need to.
The man will feel so good as a result of the attention he’s received that he will automatically project his feelings on her and think that she is amazingly attractive. Sometimes people click on the first date and the man proposes, because he feels what he needs to feel straight away. That is not unusual, my dad proposed to my mum on the first date and they still live a fairy tale life. So play it right next date and ask meaningful questions instead of unraveling your tail. Do you recognize yourself in this story?
Need more tips? Check out http://theninjawife.com (updated 3 times a week)