The following comes from one of the real-guy bloggers in the Dating Without Drama community
Ah the wonderful world of flirtation. It is a combination of trying to be cute and coy while not being obvious and blatant. Magazines like Cosmopolitan and Seventeen spout advice of this nature all the time. But most of it is laughable at best.
Because they are based on a very feminine point of view based on how women think (versus how men think). That can create some problems where we then are trying to figure out, is she flirting with us?
So let's look over some of the common dating tips and see what a guy thinks about them, shall we?
Body Language Tips
These all actually came from women's magazines and their advice columns: Pull your hair loose from a ponytail so he can watch your hair fall around your face, give him a long once-over from head to toe then look him in the eyes and smile slightly to let him know you like what you see, rub your shoulder and sigh like you have a crick that needs to be rubbed, use your tongue to lick something off your lips.
Wrong wrong and wrong!
Sure, you could think you are flirting but do we? Most men think that is just a woman being her normal sexy self. None of that is specific to us and any sort of invitation because plenty of times we have seen those same actions and been shot down.
If you want to use body language then use it in a way a man understands; get closer to us. Touch our hand, arm, or knee. If we are walking together intertwine your arm with ours or wrap your hand around our upper arm. Initiate even small contact like elbows or shoulders when we are close together and let it linger. This lets us know it is safe to be in your personal space. From a distance use open body language and not closed off. Winks, smiles, and any other direct indicators that CANNOT BE MISCONSTRUED are the best options.
What You Say
If you are instigating any sort of conversation with us then that is really all you need to do. If you want to get flirty with a guy simply try any semi-cheesy sounding line on us that we might try on you. Our simple brainwaves will instantly recognize that yes; you are actually flirting with us. You can then combine actions and words by doing things like grabbing our wrist to check the time on our watch or pull out a $20 and slip it in our hands and asking us to buy you a drink. Seriously ladies, it does not take that much so don't over think things here.
Putting it All Together
The keys to being flirty are not that difficult; obvious and straightforward is the best tactic. Be relaxed, be confident, and be playful. Those are all things we find incredible attractive and a turn-on. Use positive body language and show interest in us and we will reciprocate if we are interested in you.
Again you don't need any fancy lines. Really it is just a matter of you crossing certain boundaries that people naturally have first. Once you have done that we know the green light is there.
For example, in a crowded room if you place your hand on our shoulder and lean in close to talk in our ear that creates a more intimate situation since you initiated body contact.