4 Ways To Pump Up The Passion In Your Marriage

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heart-shaped fire
Want to heat up your bond? Start cultivating passion in your marriage with these few easy steps.

2) Playfulness. When was the last time you did something with the purposeful intention of just having fun together? Can you recall the last time you laughed together? Do you ever try something new or exciting just because you wanted to add a little spice to your relationships? You can help keep passion alive by occasionally being playful or adventurous and stepping outside your normal routine. Routine squashes passion. Raise the passion level in your marriage with a little wonder, a splash of creativity or an occasional dose of excitement. 5 Ways To Keep Married Sex Exciting

Playfulness pointers:

-See a funny movie together, or take in a comedy show.

-Pick a new restaurant at random (there are some great smartphone apps for doing just that).

-Have sex in a new location or position.

-Plan a surprise overnight getaway and kidnap your husband or wife without warning.

-Check into a hotel for an afternoon rendezvous.

-Let your hair down and get silly: have a pillow fight or a tickle war.

3) Positivity. A daily dose of genuine thankfulness can work wonders for keeping passion alive. It is easy and natural to focus on what annoys you about your wife or husband or on what he or she is not doing that you think they should, but it's almost impossible for passion and intimacy to coexist with such negativity. It is a total passion-killer for both of you. The best way to fight off those negative thoughts is to develop a habit of being grateful and appreciative. It's not enough just to avoid speaking and thinking negatively. You also need to guard against taking the good parts of your marriage for granted, which tends to happen over time. Make it a point to voice your thanks and appreciation, out loud and frequently, both to your spouse and to others. 5 Compliments Every Woman Loves To Hear

Positivity pointers:

-Let your spouse know how much you desire them by being generous with compliments about their physical appearance. (Hint for husbands: your wife is likely in a serious body-image battle, even if you think she has no reason to be.)

-Thank each other specifically for routine responsibilities, such as cooking, yard work, laundry, auto care, driving the kids, etc.

-Keep a running list (perhaps on your phone, journal or computer) of things you are thankful for about your spouse and your marriage, and then make it a habit to communicate your gratitude regularly.

-Mix up the ways you let them know how much you appreciate them: in person, via text, handwritten note, phone message or social media.

4) Pleasure. Pleasure and passion go hand in hand, starting with the pleasure you find in each other's arms. Make sure that physical intimacy is a priority in your relationship, and don't settle for anything less than a passionate sex life. That means saving time and energy for each other and not leaving your spouse with whatever is left over after you take care of everything else in your crazy-busy life.

Take time for you, too. Keep your own pleasure tank full by making time daily to do at least one thing you find pleasurable (reading, being outside, sipping a cup of tea, listening to music—whatever feeds your soul). Seek pleasure by learning to enjoy the process of doing the things on your over-packed to-do list. Enjoy more than just the relief of being done with them. Be watchful over your own pleasure for a happier relationship, and make sure your spouse is purposefully seeking out pleasure. Be proactive about purposefully delighting him or her. Discovering Your Couple Sexual Style: Sharing Desire, Pleasure, and Satisfaction

Pleasure pointers:

-Set aside time for sexual intimacy at least every week (more, if possible).

-Give your spouse a full body massage or a neck or foot rub.

-Take a bath together, if you have a tub that can accommodate you both.

-Go to a spa for a couple's massage.

-Get to know your spouse's favorite treats and snacks, and surprise him or her with them periodically.

Passion doesn't work like turning on a switch. It has to be cultivated and nurtured over the long term. If you are willing to pay attention to pursuit, playfulness, positivity and pleasure in your relationship, passion is the payoff! 

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