- Reliability. He does what he says he’ll do, when he says he’ll do it. He comes home on time, picks up the kids, fixes the broken cabinet... whatever it is, you trust his reliability.
- Love. He actively demonstrates that he still loves you. There are 5 love languages, according to author Gary Chapman. These are ways that your partner can let you know he loves you. Figure out what your primary love language is and tell him so that he will know how to show you he loves you. (www.5lovelanguages.com has a test you can do)
- Communication. I feel like a broken record, but if you don’t have open, honest communication, you don’t have much of a relationship. One of the main reasons men and women have affairs in the first place is because they don’t communicate well with their partner, and that sends the relationship into disrepair. Tell him how you feel, tell him what you want from him, and expect nothing less from him.
- Responsibility. Each of you has to own up to your part in the breakdown of the relationship. How did you stop paying attention to each other? When did the relationship become a lower priority? What are you each willing to do to repair it?
It is possible to recover from an affair. And while sometimes relationships just run their natural course and end, more often than not, a spurned lover throws the baby out with the bathwater. Problems in relationships are never one person’s fault, and if you take the time to look at the dynamics present within your relationship, you might find that there’s still life in it. If you ditch the relationship without examining the dynamics, you’ll get to repeat the process with your next partner. (If you like this article, click here to sign up for more)