Nothing stirs up the core wound of betrayal faster than discovering your partner had an affair. The core wound of betrayal is one of seven core wounds we all work through as we grow in our relationships and in consciousness. (You can learn more about the core wounds here)
Infidelity is one of the hardest things to get over and forgive in a relationship, but it is possible. You can do it, but only if you decide that you want to forgive and heal. Your partner has to want to move forward, too. Unless he used the affair as a cowardly way to end your relationship, he’ll probably be anxious to be forgiven and willing to do whatever it takes to earn back your trust.
Trust is the crux of it; the wounding from an affair has many layers, but the bottom line and the root of it all is that when your partner has an affair, he betrays your trust. With that betrayal, your world feels unsafe. If you can’t trust your partner, who can you trust? And worse, if your partner cheated on you, can you even trust yourself? Could your judgment be that flawed, could you really be that naive?
The betrayal erodes the foundation of your relationship and it erodes your self confidence. The only way to repair the relationship is to re-build the foundation of trust. I recommend that you don’t try to do this alone. Whenever a core wound is involved, it’s wise to get the help and support of a trained life coach or therapist.
Trust is rebuilt one brick at a time. Here are some important components.