By Lily Rose
It goes something like this: You tie the knot. You honeymoon in a super romantic destination and make love until one of you realizes you can’t live on minibar food alone. You head home, pack up your newly purchased minivan, move to some suburban town your friends refuse to visit and she trades in her La Perla underwear for the cotton ones that come 10 in a pack. By the time the kids come, you start thinking of things like sex and conversation as annoyances that interfere with sleep time. Before you know it, you wake up in bed one morning not knowing the stranger lying next to you.
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Here are some tips to help you and your partner keep the honeymoon feeling, well beyond the honeymoon:
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1. Enjoy the moments and savor the possibilities. Don’t rush the journey from the pre-wedding life to the life you want 50 years from now. Instead, savor the moments in between and the possibilities those moments create. Actor Lorenz Tate explained it best in the movie Love Jones, "Romance is about the possibility of the thing. From the time you meet [a] fine…woman, to the time you first make love to her. From the time you first propose to her, to the time you say 'I do.’ When people...say the romance is dead...they've just exhausted the possibilities."
2. Make sure your partner feels appreciated. The staggeringly high divorce rate tells us one thing - marriage does not mean security. Even so, some couples feel the words “I do” loosely translate into “Honey, you’ve got me -- you don’t have to try anymore.” He stops sending flowers; the sexy lingerie gets tucked so far back in her underwear drawer, it’s lost to her forever. And, you each become so focused on the daily routine you lose sight of each other. Don’t take each other for granted and remember what you did to snag your partner. If you used to send flowers because she’s mad at you, send them because you still think she is as beautiful today as the day you met her. Try to outdo yourself every time.
3. Take some us time. Don’t just schedule a date night; be committed to keeping it. Aim for once a week, but if that’s not feasible, set a recurring night that works for your schedules. It should not, however, be less than once a month. A vacation for just the two of you is a great way to have a little “us” time and recreate that honeymoon feeling. While Costa Rica is a nice option, you don’t have to go far. It can be as simple as a weekend trip to a local bed and breakfast. However, it’s not about where you go. A change in scenery and time to focus on one another without distractions or interruptions is the important factor when enjoying your time alone together.
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4. Be intimate, even if you don’t feel like it. A lack of intimacy in a relationship is often indicative of other issues. It is important to acknowledge those issues and work on them. However, even if you don’t feel like being intimate, do it anyway. Trust me, once you get started, you’ll be glad you did.
How do you and your partner maintain a newlywed relationship? Share your advice below.