3. Lock the door. My children do not believe in closed doors, especially if I'm behind them. If I didn't lock the bathroom door, there would be an ensemble every time I had to pee. In order to prevent having miniature witnesses to our married people time, we try to remember to lock the door. If they need us, we obviously stop what we're doing and attend to their unfortunately timed needs, but locking the door at least allows us the opportunity to scramble for clothing without worrying that we've scarred our children's eyeballs. How To Create Time For Sex After Having Kids
4. Get in bed early—or at least on time. Ah, bedtime. The magical time of day when I can do whatever I want without holding a baby or stopping to draw a choo-choo or answer a question about long division. Once the kids are tucked in their beds (or my bed, as the case may be), I start a mad scramble to accomplish everything I couldn't get to during the day. This is when I write, and do laundry, and dishes, and read—and it's also the time I try to reconnect with my hubby. If I'm not careful, I get carried away and it's midnight. Now, don't get me wrong. There was a time in our marriage when it was never too late for sex. But right now, especially with such young children, sleep is precious, and I'm not sacrificing it for sex. Going to bed on time allows the window of opportunity to stay open for romance.
5. Talk about something other than the kids. Sex isn't just about opportunity. It's about reconnecting with your partner, and I need to stay plugged in with my husband so when the opportunity arises, I'm ready. If all we do is talk about the kids, we aren't doing so well as a couple. We need to remember that we're a couple first and foremost, that we love each other, and that this is the whole reason we want to have sex in the first place. Sex Tips From a Mother of 3
I'm not saying we're pros at protecting and prioritizing our sex lives. We're busy parents, and we're human. We have our droughts, believe me. But when our nocturnal bonding starts to suffer, revisiting these rules is a good way to start getting it back on track.
How about you? Have you noticed how having children can take a toll on your sex life? How do you rage against it?