I have my fingers crossed that we'll be able to conceive naturally once the issue with the white blood cells has been resolved. But there's still the chance we'll have to move forward with IUI if no baby is forthcoming. And though this procedure is less invasive (and less expensive) than IVF, I'd be required to inject myself with hormones on a regular basis in order to release a greater number of fertile eggs.
That idea doesn't thrill me, but, still, it seems worth it. After all, I've wanted to be a mother for almost as long as I've wanted to be a writer (27 years). And if it doesn't take, we're both willing to try IVF.
If neither IUI nor IVF work? In my lowest moments—when I've ended up sobbing in bed because I could feel those tell-tale menstrual cramps and know I wasn't pregnant… again—Michael has turned to me and said, "Worst case scenario? We adopt." Adoption Or IVF: Do We Have To Decide?
I love this. I love that mindset. I love how he's using my own words to school me. I've always been the risk taker in our marriage. Whenever Michael has hesitated to make a change or try something that doesn't have a built-in guarantee of success, I've asked him: What's the worst that could happen? And couldn't we survive that anyway?
In an ideal world, we'd conceive on our own. We'd have a child who carried parts of both of us (my book smarts and Michael's metabolism, preferably). But in the grand scheme of things, adoption isn't such a bad scenario. Adoption wouldn't make either of us any less of a parent.
As we move past the testing phase, it feels good to be on the same page again. Instead of letting our babymaking difficulties drive us apart, we're being proactive together. We're acting as a team so we can move forward with our lives. No matter what happens now, I know we'll be able to handle it. No matter how it happens, someday we'll be parents.