Are you being used? Are you sure about that?
By Melissa Caballero
Every relationship has its ups and downs, and in our economy today, a major love obstacle is money. It takes two people to form a stable life together, and one of the main factors to stability is the almighty dollar. There are many ways for couples to navigate through the everyday expenses of life and joint payment decisions. However, this burden should never fall on just one person, no matter what the circumstances may be. If you feel that your partner is only in this relationship for your money, step back for a moment and evaluate why you are putting up with this fact. You may feel that you are caught up in a web of guilt or obligation to your mate, but that should never be the case. Here are five ways to tell if your partner is using you for your money:
1. You often give your partner money and lend them things without getting them back. If your partner is always broke and is relying heavily on you to pick up their financial slack, this may be a clear indication that you are being used. Your mate should respect every aspect of you and this includes your belongings. You may have just moved in together, but that doesn’t mean they can abuse what is yours. If you are always paying for them or letting them use your stuff, then they are not treating you with the respect you deserve. You need to protect yourself, your money and your emotions.
2. Excuses flow freely about not being able to find a job. You may not want to admit this, but maybe you are dating a loser. They feed you every excuse in the book as to why they are broke this month: the economy, their previous boss was a jerk or they are waiting for a check to come in. If you come home to find a filthy kitchen after working all day and you see your partner lounging on the couch playing video games, this is a clear sign of a lazy deadbeat with no motivation. It is not your responsibility to 100 percent support your mate with no reciprocation. You may think you are helping them, but in the long-run you are allowing this behavior to continue and enabling their laziness. Instead, talk to them about how you feel.
3. When you go out to dinner, you’re always expected to pay. Chivalry is not dead. So, women if you find that your man is always leaving the dinner check for you, he is taking advantage of your hard work and income. Even if you are the breadwinner in the relationship, you work hard for your money and this fact alone does not automatically qualify you as the one to always pick up the check. On the reverse side of this equation, if you have been together for at least a couple of months and your man usually pays for every dinner and movie you attend, it wouldn’t hurt to once in a while offer to pay for something as well. You do not want him to become resentful and feel as if you are taking advantage of him. Related: Victoria Beckham Discusses Being a Working Mom
4. He expects you to pay for everything without blinking an eye. If your partner always expects you to pay the rent or buy any necessities for your apartment without EVER offering to chip in, question their motives. It may be the case that your partner is truly struggling to find a job and is dealing with their own personal finance issues, making it difficult for them to equally contribute to the relationship in that capacity. However, if they feel burdened about their situation and lack of ability to partake in purchases, you will know. Your partner would show you appreciation, thankfulness and love in a way that would make it clear they are not using you for your money. If not, you may be dating a jerk! Related: “Should I Stay or Should I Go?: A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can – and Should – be Saved”
5. Pure intuition. If you are having any sort of feelings that you partner is using you for your money, you are probably right! Too many times, people ignore their intuition, denying that their partner would be in this relationship if it were just about the money. Trust your inner feelings and communicate exactly how you feel and what you need. You should never feel an ounce of doubt, and you definitely do not want to find yourself taken advantage of. How can you tell if you’re being used? Share your comments below.