Dare I say it? I’ve been having some trouble with the police recently. No, I’m not getting pulled over for public nudity / speeding while intoxicated / cooking meth in a two-liter jug in the backseat of my Nissan crossover. No. The cops I’m talking about are those fucking annoying Craigslist self-appointed cyber cops who willy-nilly delete the, albeit, quasi-legitimate advertisements I post on Craigslist a regular basis trying to promote my totally legit business. Whew!
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What’s worse, I’ve turned into a bit of a cyber pig myself. I can’t help it. Being on Plenty of Fish for the last three years has turned me into a crazed lunatic when it comes to online dating. So, now instead of following a set of perfectly reasonable rules of etiquette that millions of other online daters follow on a regular basis—I’m now sticking a badge over my heart and self-deputizing myself into the Cyber Cop from Hell:
Citation 1: If you email me twice and I have not made any kind of response to you in any way, you will be blocked.
Citation 2: If you make any kind of disparaging remark to me (or my friends—we talk!) you will be blocked.
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Citation 3: If you email me and then get all pissed off because it takes me a few days to email you back—feel free to block me . . . . Do you really think I give a shit?