by Julie Robinson
When it comes to sex, there are more than a few questions that make me squirm in my seat: What’s your “number”? Do you ever fuck girls? Is mine the biggest you’ve ever seen, baby? Who’s your Daddy?—they all leave me a bit perplexed about how truthful I want to be without having to launch into a full-blown explanation about my answer. I hate lying but, c’mon, is this really any of your business, buster?
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The question keeping me up at night right now is this: When was the last time you had sex? No, I am not tripped up because I don’t know the answer. I remember my last encounter quite vividly, in fact. Nope. The problem is on how other people answer the question.
I’ve whined about the double standard among men and women when it comes to sexual encounters before, so I’m not going to do that this time around. Instead, I hope to offer some shiny new advice regarding those pesky little questions men and women have about the opposite sex.
I had a conversation recently with a man who has been divorced for less than two years. When the inevitable—When was your last time?—question came up I mumbled something indecipherable under my breath and shot the question right back at him. His answer? Three and a half years. Yeah, do the math. He and his ex-wife had stopped having sex for over the last year of their marriage. And—surprise!—she was the one who was denying him her body.
Ladies: Let me be clear—turning sex into a commodity that you dole out on special occasions is a slippery slope you do not want to go down if you want to keep your relationship alive and well. I get it if you simply don’t want to have sex—but purposely denying a committed lover access to your body is manipulative and a surefire way to see that relationship go away.
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Gentlemen: You are not off the hook, either.