Women Say the Damnedest Things: Ultimate Online Dating Profile

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Women Say the Damnedest Things: Ultimate Online Dating Profile
Ever wonder if your online dating profile sounds stupid? Read this one and set your mind at ease.

by Julie Robinson

  I like to play fair. You might think that this lack o’ cheating has something to do with a moral compass or some other reasonably positive personality trait—but you would be wrong. That’s right I do it for selfish reasons. Surprise! (Well, maybe if you’ve read anything I’ve ever written it wouldn’t be that big of a surprise.)

So, in the tradition of fairness, below is a montage of what I found when I read women’s profiles on Plenty of Fish. As you probably know, I dish on men a lot. Well, apparently women deserve a similar beating. Why am I familiar with these profiles written by women? Because I like to check out the competition, silly. I may play fair, but I’m not stupid.

Everything in the compiled example below comes directly from online profiles written and posted by women. I haven’t changed a word, punctuation, or spelling—but (let’s be fair, here) I have taken this all out of context:

CrazyLoveSpyder: “Basically Hopeless”

Holy u know what, Batman--I went from one end to the other when I changed my profile this week. I sound sooo serious, and I'm not! Do-over will be forthcoming! Crap, more time on this silly thing??!! What can I say without sounding so cliche? This is always the hard part...talking about myself. I really don't enjoy this part I feel like a used car salesman!

I think my friends would describe me as outgoing and fun. Looking for sweet, loving, hard working and loyal. Are you my needle in this haystack? Have you ever pictured in your dreams a Busty Botox Barbie? The kind of gal a man would write bad checks for? I hate to break it to you but she's not here...

Normal seeks same. How hard can THAT be, RIGHT???? A bit about me... I’m pretty normal and well grounded from life's lessons. My Energizers are Sun, Water, Music, Workouts... I feed myself with these and then Energize the world . I am passionate about life! Passion takes many forms. it's energetic! If I ruled the world ...fun would be mandatory everyday! Looking for the guy who ranks high on the "Fun Factor Scale"! Why Not?

Read more . . . .

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