“She’s nearly 5’ 11” and she’s at least 200 pounds.” The grimace on Frank’s face says it all: My girlfriend is fat and I can’t stand it. Quietly, I wait for the: she’s got a pretty face--but it never comes.
“Aren’t you only about 5’ 11”?” I ask trying to deflect the inevitable negative weight comments and put it back on him. My initial female instinct is to get mad about this obsession with his girlfriend’s weight, but I simply can’t. Franks’s distaste for the size of his woman is so common among men it sometimes feels universal.
“5’ 11” and a half”—and with this we both start laughing. Our conversation didn’t start out about the man/woman Will-We-Ever-Get-It-Right? Game, but it sure ends up smack dab in the middle of the two biggest hang-ups the two sexes have about each other.
Buying into to the It’s Just Lunch rip-off, that $1,200 down-the-drain-investment I made seven years ago after hitting yet another brick wall in my love life, did at least teach me three things about dating:
1. It’s next to impossible to get women to date short men
2. It’s even harder to get men to date heavy set women
3. Narcissists suck
Unfortunately I learned these lessons the hard way. Thinking it was a pretty good idea to befriend the It’s Just Lunch staff, I found myself being sucked into “mercy dates” with the guys they couldn’t set-up with other women. What was wrong with these poor bachelors? What was the common denominator? They came up to my chin.
“You think that’s bad. You can just forget the bigger girls,” my It’s Just Lunch consultant confided in me after I complained about yet another Mini-man date. “Short men and big women are the de facto undatables. Now, I have a guy I know you’re really going to like. . . .” And that is how I met my narcissist.