Reason #1: They're worried about their reputations. From a man's perspective, pursuing women in that scenario is often a no-win situation. As Alex explained, if a guy were to attend a church for five years, and only pursue one girl per year, some might see that as being wimpy and tell him he needs to step it up, be more of a man! (This sounds somewhat familiar, doesn't it?) 5 Things Your Kids Should Know About Their Online Reputation
And as Alex points out, on the other hand, there's always going to be that group of people who think, "'That 'Tom' guy has had five girlfriends here at church—don't go near him!'" In the meantime, "the fact that Tom has been at the church for over five years is completely ignored, and he is suddenly seen as a villain."
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The men from Bel Air Presbyterian agreed, and said they never want to be seen as "that guy"—the one who goes to church to prey on women. This is not to be confused with praying on them, of course.
Reason #2: Rather than giving them more options, dating girls at church actually gives them fewer options. Here's why: Women have one unspoken rule between each other, and Christian guys are well aware of it. Dating A Friend's Ex [VIDEO]
"If I ask one girl out at church," John says, "I'm immediately eliminating about ten others because they're all her friends. If I find it doesn't work out with that girl, then I can't ask out any of the rest of them because they're all off-limits. It's a lot of pressure, so before I ask her, I have to know that she's definitely worth it."
Reason #3: It complicates things. Luke was once engaged to a girl that went to his church, and said that he lost the good majority of his friends after the engagement was broken off.
In addition, the men in New York complained of the potential drama and gossip that can occur when people either date or break up within their small church. Rather than voluntarily placing themselves in the center of it all, they learned over the years to avoid the gossip mill by dating women elsewhere. Dating Tip: 6 Ways To Avoid An Awkward Setup
Reason #4: There are so many better ways to meet women. "There actually aren't a lot of opportunities for meeting girls at church," Matthew, age 31, says. "You're not going to date someone in your small group or your Bible study group because it's awkward, and I rarely ever meet new people at church. Most people just show up, talk to whoever they already know, and then leave."
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"I'm meeting a lot of great Christian girls on Match.com," Luke agrees. "I also like meeting girls more organically, through friends of friends." 4 Steps To Finding Your Romantic Match