Also, songs for making love.
I just saw a great music video that's a cover of David Byrne's "This Must Be The Place" set to a parody of American Psycho. I'm only three years late on this, but you should enjoy it. It's not especially safe for work. Here are what some American heroes have to say about love and relationships and sex and stuff this week.
There are few things that are considered basic human needs. One of them is unfettered access to spank material. Per Huffington Post Weird News, Texas has been letting inmates use the web to relieve stress. I guess this works if the alternative is non-consensual sodomy.
D'ya like contrived television romances in which couples have to break up, get together, ad nauseam to keep the audience engaged? Of course you don't. Yo-yo dating is awful. And, per Modern Man and modern science, ultimately fruitless. Cut those cords, y'all.
Also fruitless? Straight women dating gay dudes. But a lady writes in to the resident dude at CollegeCandy wondering what to do if she has a crush on a friend of Dorothy's. I guess you could start with drinks, then play "never have I ever" and see where the evening takes you. Or, you know, date heterosexuals.
We've put a man on the moon and made a semi-realistic artificial vagina, so it's possible men and women can be friends, right? But what if his lady friends are numerous and hot? Em & Lo have their man panel tackle the topic of boyfriends with close lady friends.
Men and women CAN be friends but a lot of opposite-gender friends are kept around just in case. And that just in case can come in the form of a one-night stand. Good Men Project doesn't think the one-night stand deserves all of the libelous press it gets.
You know how some real bozos think that ladies won't sleep with you unless you're a real bozo? According to a guy writing for Jezebel, those guys are bozos. The bad thing about hooking up with clowns is getting that makeup all over your sheets. The good part is the giant shoes. If you know what I mean.
Even good dudes (like us nerds who write on the ultrawebz) have a few manipulative tricks up our sleeves. The bros at AskMen show their hand a little with this list of best love-making songs. A little play list we all call Panty Droppers 2.
Anyone out there not care how their comedic heroes are in real life? Yeah, me too. Michael Ian Black confesses to Nerve that he got engaged over a plate of KFC and wouldn't have it any other way. Crap, I think I'm starting to like him as a person again.
You know when you ask someone "what's wrong?" and they say, "Nothing" and repeat the question-answer process 30 times and on the 31st cycle they rip your face off? You think that you finally "broke through" but in reality the act of asking him the same question over and over broke something in his brain. Very Smart Brothas has more on this unique and awful form of sadomasochism.
Do you know Inspector Clouseau is? He's a detective hot on the trail of the international jewel their the Pink Panther and despite his bumbling always manages to catch the bad guy. Per Evan Marc Katz (and many, many romcoms) a lady can constantly trip over her own feet (metaphorically) and still land the right guy. Sometimes you just bet on the blind squirrel to find that nut.
And my good friend Matt Titus has a very, very good approach to, well, approaching great guys or ladies: approach them. Most people are pretty nice and willing to give people a chance. Don't be a dingus and things could go well.
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