The next time the phone rang, it crossed my mind that maybe so-and-so was calling not just to check in on me but to cash a check off of me. After a few seconds of this tortuous thinking, I told myself to give it up 'cause who really cares? If you act with decency to a person you're romantically involved with, who cares what gets out? It's not like I share all my S&M stories anyway. Being "famous" in that regard is a lot like being popular in high school. People share your stories because that's part of having everyone know who you are. It comes with the territory, so I decided I'd rather not make every friend a suspect and just get on with my life, which included mending my broken heart.
So, how to move on when all this press is working to do the opposite? For starters, I put a ban on the Internet and gossip rags. As much as I love Just Jared, I just couldn't do it. I didn't make any comments on the breakup to anyone. I made a vow to smile and wish him the best while I was still crumbling on the inside. I kept the TV turned off. 5 Steps To Breaking Up With Your Ex
Still, there were those moments I couldn't control. Picture me sweating my brains out on the elliptical at the gym when his face comes blaring out on five of the seven TV screens meant to keep me moving. Some days I wanted to shrivel up and die. Other days I used the sight of his primetime face to motivate me to keep my body nice and tight for the next guy. If he was starring in a flick at the local cinema, I'd evaluate how the movie was doing before I'd step foot in a theater. If it was a hit, there was no way in hell I felt strong enough to see him romancing the likes of Scarlett Johansson or Natalie Portman and making me fall for it. But, if it was a stinker, I was there opening night. Nothing makes getting over a guy faster than seeing him be the worst actor ever in the biggest bomb of the season. If I could sell that experience, I'd never have to work again, which means I'd never have to audition again, which means I'd be the happiest girl on the planet.
And the most important thing I had to do was to want to move on. I had to want to be a functioning member of society again. I mean, there's only so much time I felt I could steal from my friends' or parents' lives. I want to learn from my choices so it was important that I identified what it was I was attracted to in the first place. This led me back to the single life. The goal was to take one of his good qualities with me as I continued on my search for the guy I'm meant to be with. I realized I am only responsible for how I'm feeling, and in that moment I chose to feel over it.
Whether or not you're famous, when dealing with heartbreak, in my opinion, it's all the same. It hurts like hell when something you've loved is over. We all try to protect ourselves and make everyone think we're doing okay, only to talk about the pain we're going through with our closest friends (and therapist, if we're lucky) later. We all want dirt on the guy because we want to hear that he's hurting without us and when we find out that he's doing okay, from the press or our own personal rumorville, it stings just the same. Heartbreak is heartbreak is heartbreak. I mean, we're all losing the same thing, right? We're all losing the feeling of being chosen, aren't we? It is what it is. It's one more thing we've survived that shows us we can handle anything and are more than ready to meet our match, the guy who will turn this pain into a thing of the past. Bring it on, I say! Bring him on…
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