It's More Than Okay To Be Single, Valentine

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It's More Than Okay To Be Single, Valentine
'Couples Holidays' can be a drag, but only if you allow them. Choose to look at Single differently!

I've been single parenting for over five years in a healthy and peaceful coparenting team with my ex husband.  After the cloud of divorce, anger and resentment subsided, we shifted into mutually respectable parents who have put all of our love and energy into raising our daughter.  We wanted her to see that even if two people can no longer be together, they can absolutely be friendly to one another and be happy nonetheless.  We were incredibly fortunate to have managed how we have and there be no permanent emotional affects on her from the choice we made at ending our marriage.  We are still a family full of love and vibrancy, it is just not the typical 'ideal' many expect, and that is okay.  Our unit works for us, and as long as our daughter is happy and flourishing, that is all that will ever matter.

 

2) Compatible Partners are more and more fewer as we age.  It's a realization many choose to ignore or some care not to admit, but it is true.  When we're in our 20's, options practically hang from the trees.  Finding a date as a twenty-something isn't as trying as it can be in your 30's, 40's, and beyond.  Why?  Because usually by that time, we have a lengthy trail of experience behind us such as marriage, divorce, and children which can add a weighing down of 'baggage' into a new relationship.  The more time we stand alone, the higher chance of us sticking to our own ways can make transitioning into allowing someone else in more challenging to accept.  We should never close off oportunities that arise when it comes to our dating lives, but we shouldn't just take whatever comes our way either out of fear and desperation.  Even if the odds weigh against us due to the inevitable process of aging, we should never close the door on finding real love if it is something we desire to have and hold one day.

 

3) Putting love for myself first.  I'm not one to make resolutions for a new year, and this last NYE was no different.  However, I promised to finally break free from everyone elses expectations of the life they want and see for me, and to really think about and go after the life I desire for myself.  My mother quite often worries over my personal life, professing that she would love nothing more than for me than to find a 'manly man who will take care of me'.  While I feel fortunate to have a mother who wants the best for me, I don't expect finding Mr. Perfect to be the answer to everything and it being the only result of bliss.  Both my older and younger sisters have men in their lives, so I am the targeted black sheep left to herd.  When I was married, I chose to be a housewife and full time stay at home parent, so when I allowed myself to fully depend on my husband who eventually became my Ex, I had no job and income to fall back on.  I made the grave mistake of becoming too comfortable and convinced that the worst would never happen, so when it did, I had to struggle back onto my own two feet and it took a very, VERY long time.

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