There are countless movies out there – comedies, romances and tear jerkers – that explore the big universal mystery – what women want. The biggest irony about many of them is that they are written and directed by men… so how do they come up with the right answer by the end of the movie, when so many men can’t get it right off the screen?
As women, we look at it and can’t possibly understand why men really just can’t get it right. There’s not actually that many ducks they need to get in a row to be perfect. But have we ever stopped to think that it might partly be our fault? We are sometimes a little emotional and often erratic creatures, and many of us, rather than laying out what we’re after at the start, get into the habit of correcting men as they make mistakes!
If you want to give it a go another way, and let him know your criteria list before you start, but just don’t know how to put it into words until he messes up, try using this list as a guide:
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1. It’s not just about listening…it’s about thinking
Many of those stereotypical movies emphasise the idea that men just don’t listen enough. But when you think about it, many of them actually listen quite a lot, some just don’t act on it. Listening is not necessarily what we’re after, perhaps, more so, we want a guy with a bit of initiative. Someone who doesn’t just take on board what we say, but moves on it in an intelligent and thoughtful way.
2. It’s not just remembering dates… it’s creating memories
Guys get pulled up all the time for forgetting birthdays, neglecting anniversaries and overlooking Valentine’s Day. But really, is it more important to remember to get you roses for your next big day, or to know and love the things that are important to you? To have listened when you were talking about your childhood and surprise you with that experience you always wanted but didn’t have, to take you to that place you never went, or hunt down that toy you never received? While dates are important, it’s more important to know you – past, present and future.
3. It’s not talking all night…it’s saying the right thing
Another common female fantasy is the ‘stay up until dawn talking endlessly’. But again, is that what we really want. Many of us think about it and want it, but don’t have the type of men who can really converse for hours on end. But isn’t it more important that the man your with knows the right thing to say – to make you laugh, to comfort you, to pick you up when you’re down?
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4. It’s not about the cheating…it’s about if you want to
Cheating is the number one big bad deal breaker. But isn’t wanting to just as bad? Now don’t be confused, and think finding someone attractive is wanting it – actually being tempted is wanting it! If you have a guy who is never tempted, you have a winner! If you have a guy who cheats, or wants to, all the online roses in the world can’t fix things.