1. Are you happy with yourself? (Or are you miserable because you’ve put on 50 pounds since your divorce?)
2. Are you looking for someone to rescue you or take care of you? (If you answer “yes” to this one, you may not be ready.)
3. Is there room in your life for a relationship? (Or do you have three kids and work a 60-hour week?)
4. Has enough time passed since your last relationship? (Or are you still wounded?)
Now, get yourself fabulous. Rather than, “Why can’t I find a good man?” ask yourself, “Who do I need to become to attract the man (or woman) who is perfect for me?” It’s not about changing you; it’s about being your best you. Part of that is your mojo – your self-esteem. If your mojo is slipping, you’ll attract control freaks, players and jerks. Pump it up with a makeover, a workout, a sincere inventory of your attributes.
Get out there! Put on your sexy jeans get yourself out the door. Where to start looking? If you enjoy working with your hands, volunteer for a Habitat for Humanity project. If you’ve always wanted to learn Italian, take a class. If you love to do yoga, check out a new studio (ladies, you’ll find a surprising number of guys there.) Perhaps you find a new church or take a class on Buddhism. The list of meeting spots for singles is a long one: bookstores, dance clubs, supper clubs, book clubs, gyms, golf courses, rowing clubs, dog parks.
Atkinson’s tips come from real-life experience. At 40, she realized she’d been kissing a lot of frogs and found not one prince. She applied the model she developed for her business, tweaked it and came up with “The Frog Whisperer” – and a prince of a husband.
Although it was never in her playbook to have children, when she got married, she became an instant stepmom and grandmother (G-Ma) to now 4-year-old Jayden. Looking back, she realizes it sure beat freezing eggs and starting down the difficult road to conception in mid-life!
Jane Atkinson is the author of The Frog Whisperer and The Frog Whisperer Journal as well as a Positive Practice audio CD to help women (and men) get mentally ready for meeting their perfect mate. She lives in London, Ontario, with her husband of four years, John.