"When the call doesn't go well, you will kick yourself and wish that you could be like Superman and spin the Earth to turn back time," warns YourTango Expert and Dating Coach Marla Martenson. And—chances are—the call won't go well. Your ex isn't Mr. Right; he's just inaccessible, which makes him more attractive. Why Is It So Hard To Get Over An Ex?
YourTango Expert Anila Manning urges you to drop the rationalization of why you want to call and think about what's really going on.
More from YourTango: Why Getting Dumped Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me
"Ask yourself, 'What do I really want?" she says. "'What do I expect my ex to do for me on the other end of the phone?' Then sit down for a moment and listen to your answers. Don't get up until you have the courage to tell yourself the whole truth."
It might help to record it in ink, too. That's what YourTango Expert and Relationshp Coach Susan Sheppard would do. You'll know better than to call, once you answer these three questions in writing:
1. Why did the relationship end?
2. What will it cost me to call and compromise my integrity?
3. Does my ex deserve to have any part of me?
3. Schedule an intervention.
The temptation to call an ex is so common that no would be surprised if you slipped up. So make preemptive plans for an intervention. Ask at least one close friend to be on your emergency "Call Instead" list.
If you're comfortable enough with your friend, you can share everything you wish you could say to your ex. Your friend doesn't have to role-play, or say much of anything. Just getting feelings out of your head and into someone else's ears will make a difference.
And back up your back-up. There's a chance that one day your "Call Instead" contact won't be available when needed. Don't call your ex. Call someone else, or simply turn off your phone. 5 Steps To Breaking Up With Your Ex
4. Let your fingers do the… anything else.
More from YourTango: Contest: Tell Us The Best Way To Avoid Ex Sex—In 10 Words Or Less
One surefire way to squash regrettable phone calls: Do something that isn't compatible with using the phone. Like taking a yoga class, getting a manicure, or meeting friends for dinner or drinks.