Strip clubs aren't the scary places you imagine.
- They ply you with alcohol. The moment you walk into the dimly lit room and pop a squat at one of their teeny tables or 'luxury' seats right by the stage, some half naked vixen is alertly at your side with a smile on her face and offering up an endless supply of whatever booze your heart desires, and usually for free (as they should be, considering you're basically handing over a kidney to get in the club to begin with). The male strip show had a bar in the back of the venue where women had to go and order for themselves, and bring their drinks back to the tables themselves. The female strippers are crafty in getting more money that way by the seduction of cost free cocktails and beer, knowing full well it will eventually be found in a dancers thong before you call it a night.
- They love seeing women just as much, if not a little more, than men. A woman by the stage name Javon had her sights set on me and completely overlooked my friend whose idea it was to come in the first place. She grilled me on my reasons for coming, clasped onto my shoulders and set in motion an attempt at a mood setting massage and cried out an offer for a couples dance where she proclaimed to be 'real good and fun with those' and made promise of a cost that she was sure was a 'steal'. I have never played on that side of the field, and to each his own, but even if I were to open myself up that much to sexual discovery, a stripper right alongside the likes of a prostitute would be my last choice to get it. I am confident enough to know that even though I'd never go there, if I wanted to hook up with another woman, I sure as hell wouldn't have to pay for it.
- The majority hate what they do, and it shows. Sure they can perform dynamic gmynastics on a pole and get fully nude for your shell shocked eyes, but a lot of them rarely smile and are lacking delight with the striptease they're putting on. Their moves are routine, but unlike male strippers who are enthusiatic and glow with happiness, it's all about shutting off any personality shine through and just putting the goods out for show so they can collect their green and go home.
- They have awkward cleaning intermissions. After we watched about a handful of women shimmy, shake and sell sex on heels, the music changed. A couple of girls dressed in more clothing yet, still very provacatively presented, took to the stage with towels and spray, dousing the mirrored wall and swiping all traces of Woman from the poles. All I could think about was two things; 1) How degrading and sad it is that such a job exists and that women actually WANT to do it, and 2) One can only imagine the bountiful mess of sweat and other body fluids being cleansed away. Nothing says clean and classy more than a duo of ladies mopping up nasty from other ladies. Eek!
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