Many women (and to a lesser extent men) are today bemoaning their inability to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. As a consequence, they peruse bars, nightclubs, churches, gyms, supermarket aisles; anywhere basically, hoping to find “the one”. Some of my girlfriends actually report that there are no worthwhile, available guys around. They’ve basically given up hope. Others assume that if they meet a guy in a particular context, that this means ‘Bingo!’ In other words, "meeting place" to them, says a lot about the type of guy they have “landed”.
For instance, such women may naively assume that an intellectual met at University will be a good marriage and financial prospect (dollar signs literally float in their heads) or that a gym enthusiast will be a great health buff, a teacher, good father material or a ‘church man’ one with integrity. We can become so consumed with not only meeting a partner but with where we meet him, because we believe that this “meeting-place” will determine the quality of the prospective partner. But in the quest for “the one” perhaps we need to look a bit further.
More from YourTango: I Love My Wife, But She's The Worst At Gift-Giving
More from YourTango: What Women Really Think ... Of Your Money
It’s not simply where you meet your partner that will determine the success or longevity of the ensuing relationship but really, whether or not you are “meetable”. What do I mean by this? Sometimes we can become so locked into what we are looking for and our specific requirements, that we forget to check on our own selves and our preparation, readiness or suitability for a relationship. So here are some critical questions. What are the important interpersonal dynamics which make you a good candidate for a relationship? You may have your own list of requirements but are you anywhere near to fulfilling them yourself? Are you even the type that someone would want to have a relationship with?
Warmth and Approachability
When a guy sees you, does he bolt and run in the opposite direction? Does your vibe say “I am available; ask me questions; get to know me” or does it convey “approach me at your own risk”. The initial message you send may be critical in determining whether or not your potential, ideal guy even bothers to give you the time of day. Admittedly, some of us women may have had bad experiences and as a result, just want to keep the undesireables at bay. In the process, we may have set up a virtual scowl which says "don't even think about it!" and this just might scare off the right guy! It is important therefore that we remain aware of how and who we send our signals to.