Ever bump into a fashion or grooming trend that seems so outlandish that you think it is completely impossible to be true, BUT it's specific enough that you think, well, no one would think of that and NOT invent it? Yes, outside of vaginal bleaching. The latest thing in hoo-ha beautification is adding feathers or fox fur.
Per SpaWeekBlog, former Real Housewives of New York star Cindy Barshop (and her Completely Bare Spa) is behind the effort to make the boys say, "Dang, y'all." The two services begin with a laser or wax hair removal (general high-end de-muffication) and then replace the hair with the hair of animals. Per the video below, the process is only the latest in artistic expression pioneered by Completely Bare. Their earlier work included "vajazzling" and "vatoos," the former involving adding pieces of crystal to a woman's erogenous zone and the latter being temporary tattoos applied to that same location. 5 Crazy Things Women Do To The Hair Down There
These efforts were not the first projects designed to make a woman's crotch adhere to a particular aesthetic after removing all of the hair. Earlier attempts, made in days of yore, were oftentimes for prostitutes in an effort to make pubic regions look "normal" after hair was shorn to prevent the spread of venereal critters (your basic lice and crabs being chief among them). The "merkin" has enjoyed some manner of renaissance but you get the impression that crotch wigs are largely just for shock value, a good laugh or for Hollywood films to combat NC-17 ratings as just about everyone in Tinseltown is likely totally bare down there. 9 Ways Celebrities Style Their Pubic Hair
As far as the attractiveness of the Foxy Bikini and The Carnivale (the fox fur and the feather treatments, respectively) go, this writer has not enjoyed the opportunity to check them out close-up. However, one can imagine that it would be pretty funny to go through the awkward process of pulling someone's clothes off for the first time to be confronted with what looks like an animal either trying to enter or escape from a woman's babymaker.
While most men (and many women) prefer a kempt look, it's possible we've gone a touch overboard. Clearly, it's all in good clean fun, but it seems like an inordinate amount of calories are burned in the pursuit of "cutening up" something that's not really meant to be adorable. It's like putting Ben Franklin glasses on a guy's junk. Alas, it's a woman's right to choose her under-hairdo, but you'd guess that most fellas won't appreciate the time and treasure put into this particular one. Good luck to everyone involved in this non-hair-brained scheme; it's you innovators that make America great. I just hope PETA doesn't pitch paint onto your pelvic region.
Would you consider the feather or fur treatment? Does the phrase "crotch feathers" sound like something old-timers say when they stub their toes?
More juicy content from YourTango: