Here is the scenario: Every morning you walk into your office and are greeted with kind salutations, a smile, and possibly a cup of coffee. Your day may progress with some flirting, eye winking, and a business lunch for sushi and drinks. Work seems to be your home away from home lately and the aura is much kinder and more jovial than your living situation. Your only stress is dealing with clients and business issues. Why can’t every level of your life be this fancy free?
As the five o’clock whistle blows, your stomach starts to churn; you slowly pack up your briefcase anticipating a fight, or being nagged when you arrive home. When you do arrive home, you don’t even want to deal with the bills, the kids, dinner, or bedtime because you can’t get your co worker out of your head. When you reach your destination, you already have an attitude, you are willing to start a fight, and you are liable to isolate. Why not, don’t you deserve alone time since you are working so hard every day to pay the bills? Why can’t life be as peaceful as it is in the office, where it’s one big flirtatious smile all day long?
The answer is because that is not reality. Work affairs start off when one person (or both) is usually looking for excitement, or stress relief from the day to day issues of substantiality. Authentically, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get. And sometimes when we are handed lemons, we must make lemonade. Turning to your co worker to relieve sexual tension or financial frustrations because there are strained relations at home can be detrimental to your committed relationship. The high of not getting caught may lead you to get sloppy, and eventually you may get caught. Should you take that chance? Have you taken this chance?
Now what if you are the “unconscious” seducer, do you realize that this person is in a committed relationship? Do you continue to see him or her coming in to work tired and frustrated and you think to yourself, “He or she is such a great person. They don’t deserve this. I would be so much more of a better mate?” You are both deceiving the people you say you love. Though he has no intention of leaving his “apparently happy marriage” there is a guarantee that you won't be found out. So there it begins, the glances, the gentle accidental body swipe as you are walking to the water cooler, the hair flipping…shall I go on?
Have you ever had an office affair? How did the relationship end?