This week’s episode ought to be called Rumble for the Roses —and I think Ben sums it up the best with his quote of the night:
“There’s a recurring theme going on with many of these women tonight from what I’m seeing… There is obviously some tension in the house… You know I don’t know what it is but the mood of the party is shifting… a lot of these women seem to be getting much more emotional… so I want to get to the bottom of it…"
DUH?! Has umpteen seasons of The Bachelor taught you nothing Ben? Despite the swarms of women still willing to sign up for weeks of luxurious digs, incredible adventures, tumultuous turmoil and emotional trauma… it’s still completely unnatural for a group of women to compete for your attention in front of each other while living together. It’s really not rocket science.
Recycled… this week’s fantastic fest of various forms of desperation provides us three great tips for this game called love…
Blakeley who started out looking like a focused, aggressive competitor seduced Ben's judgement before becoming stalker chick. Then realizing that she’d overplayed her hand, Blakeley chose to transform herself from Vixen to Vulnerable, which only confused Ben more. HINT: Ben, this is a super glimpse into the reality that is Blakeley. Charlyism #3-6 Think long-term when it comes to a [woman’s] behavior.
Tip #1 Figure out who you are and then be that person, if he doesn’t “get you” he’s not the best for you. When you masquerade as an overconfident aggressor only to finish the run as a vulnerable victim, you’re painting a picture of you that is disingenuous at best.
Poor over analytical Jenna clearly spent too much time structuring her sentiments, which of course decimated any chances of connecting with Ben… again, thus she went home…. bringing us to tip #2
Tip #2 Don’t waste the time you have to share who you ARE, listing all the things you “think” or want him to believe you aren’t. Incidentally I say think, because most of the time you are very much of who you claim not to be. In fact if you find yourself discussing all that you’re not, look closely at what you listed because it must exist somewhere and needs your attention pronto.
Since everything has its shadow side, I’m choosing Jamie as the bachelorette of the week. Despite her desire to remain in the running, Jamie showed the most self-confidence thus far. Unlike Courtney who was often found in a corner spinning a web of emotional disturbance like a seasoned black widow, or Samantha who consumed her thoughts with everyone else’s behavior, Jamie stayed present. She put herself first and refused to let circumstances or other women’s behavior alter her own. Jamie was willing to communicate that to Ben —even if he didn’t like it. Go Jamie!
You’ll never have to compete for the guy or gal for you. Instead of selling yourself like a good piece of stock to invest in, Tip #3 Show up, be you and love you first so the value you bring is clearly evident. I’ll be back next week with another Reality Dish Recycled! Bachelor breakdown!
Who do you think Ben is leaning toward now? Who would you choose for him?