You Can't Marry Casanova
You Can't Marry Casanova
You Can't Marry Casanova
Ok first of all, let me say that my friend's not a young girl just looking to play. She keeps telling me she's looking for a husband, and after dating many jerks she's tired of guys just looking to play.
Recently 3 guys have been hitting on her at the same time. The first one is chasing her really hard, to the point where he's being so clingy he's giving her that uncomfortable feeling he's stalking her. I wish I could just tell the guy to just give up. He constantly texts her, messages her on facebook, and wants to meet up with her, and because she's not interested his constant advances bugs the hell out of her. Ok, let's be honest here, desperate = unattractive, and this applies to both sexes. If you're looking to attract someone don't try so hard. The best way to attract someone is to be friendly and show a little interest but allow the other person to have plenty of room. You literally need to have the guts to lose the person you have attraction for, the more you care the higher the chance you might come off as desperate.
The second guy's a nice guy who's not physically attractive, but he's not ugly. He's only slightly on the bigger side but not fat, he's balding, but he's acceptable looking in my opinion. Let's be honest though, most people are average looking, and it's naive to think that all of us can find a Brad Pitt, or Angelina lookalike (or if you don't like that couple, think of someone you do find hot) What is important is this guy's a nice guy and genuinely interested in my friend, and what I don't like is she talks down about him even though he's not being desperate like the first guy.
Enter Casanova, of course that's not his real name, but just like Casanova, he's Italian. I don't mean American Italian, I mean Italian Italian. He's a real charmer and quite handsome. He was in town recently for a few days and hooked up with my friend. When she talks about her experience with him she gets excited just thinking back, and now he's coming back to town for another trip and my friend can't stop talking about him.
Remember this is the girl tired of dating jerks and looking for a husband, i.e. LIFE LONG PARTNER.
Ever wonder why so many girls end up with jerks even though every girl says she wants a loving relationship? Picking Casanova over the second guy's one of the main reasons. At the end of the day women get to pick their partners at the start, and lots of women quite frankly pick really badly.
The problem for a lot of women is they have all these fantasies about what love should be like. You see it in chick flicks, and romance novels are all about this. Whenever we as a society talk about "the one" we associate the guy with Prince Charming or a knight in shining armor. Tell me this though, WHAT'S FARMER FRED AND PEASANT PETER GONNA DO!?
Let's face it, there's a supply and demand problem if every girl wants a Prince but there's only one Prince in the kingdom.
How many times have you met a guy and thought this guy's "The one"?
How many times has that guy actually turned out to be "The one"?
Sorry to crush the chick flick fantasies, but picking and finding a husband IS NOT the same as finding Prince Charming. All that glitters isn't gold, and many of those guys on the market that seem like knights in shining armor are actually selfish pricks disguised as such. On the other hand it takes time to get to know someone, and you're also not going to fall in love with every guy immediately, and one of these guys might actually be the one if you actually gave the guy a chance.
The most common mistakes women make is meeting a guy who sweeps them off their feet and spending months or even years trying to preserve the initial feelings, whilst at the same time moving on immediately if there isn't that magic feeling right away. Let me tell you this, if you never give a guy a shot unless he takes your breath away, you are destroying your chances for lasting love.
If you keep dating jerks and you're looking to find a husband then tell yourself this:
1) Stop falling so hard for guys you barely know. One thing that's common to women who keep dating jerks is they tend to obssess about a guy they think is a good catch. They put so much importance in a guy they hardly know they totally fail to see any red flags.
2) Stop responding to just that attraction alone. You might think it's love but it's not love. Love takes time to establish. You don't need to have butterflies in the stomach when you first meet someone, you do however need to pick well.
3) Start realizing that love isn't the same as infatuation, and that finding a life long partner's not the same as finding Prince Charming.
To understand more about men and to find out which guys are jerks get yourself a copy of "Life's too short to date men like me" from Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/Lifes-Too-Short-Date-Like/dp/1462042724/ref=sr_1_1...