Suddenly, you realize that your partner really does have stinky breath, a bad penchant for leaving the leaving the lid up on the toilet—or a tendency to misuse money, something that might be a red flag on the path to the altar. If you rush into marriage, you don't have time to really find out who the person is—you're acting and making decisions solely on the emotions stimulated by the chemicals in your brain. You need to love a person after the chemicals die down. So, slow down. Don't rush the relationship. Find out who your potential spouse is, if she's someone you really could spend the rest of your life with.
3. Learn to fight well, and don't run from your problems. If you believe what you read about the Brand/Perry marriage, you know that they both had healthy tempers. And of course, matters of faith, and every aspect of life your beliefs affect, can be a source of conflict. 5 Steps To Getting Over The First-Fight Hurdle
More from YourTango: Striving For An Equal Marriage? That May Be Why It's Failing
My personal belief is that if you never fight, you're far more likely to go postal than the couple who knows how to fight well. There are going to be disagreements in a marriage. There are going to be challenges. While these challenges will come, it's best to deal with them. Don't shut down until they blow over, or just throw in the towel and jump out of the marriage. What happens the next time you get into a fight with a partner? Are you going to run away from that one, as well?
I'm not talking abuse here, folks. I'm talking about your average, married-couple squabble. We all have them, and many of us have thought about leaving because of them. We can't do that, though. Marriage is the best place for two people to actually learn, grow up, and stop being selfish.
Let's say you run out and get a divorce after a big fight. Your tendency will be to do the exact same thing the next time, next person. And the next time after that. And guess what? You will never learn how to communicate, or grow up. You'll never learn how to love someone like he or she wants and needs to be loved—because you've chosen to do the selfish, easy thing every time.
Don't run from your problems, or from those squabbles. Learn to disagree in a way that gets things accomplished. Listen to your partner if she says she doesn't want kids. Listen to your husband when he tells you about the financial mistake he made. And then, do everything in your power to work through it—together. It's how you grow up, and it's how you keep a marriage strong. 9 Common Reasons Why Couples Fight
More from YourTango: Please, Put Down Your Dating Checklist Already
We all want the fairy-tale ending, but fairy tales are just that: Make believe. Pretend. If you want a marriage to work, you need to have conversations about sensitive topics like faith, and grow through your issues together. If you do that, your marriage might not be a fairy tale, but it can still be great.