Dealing with a man without money can be a headache and a heartache. Here is how to deal.
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. There’s no doubt that the two sexes are inexplicably different— traditionally speaking, one prefers painting their nails and the other prefers banging nails. So it comes as no surprise that men and women handle financial matters completely differently.
Men tie money very closely to ego, and if they find themselves without either it can be a trying experience. If you know how to deal with an awkward money situation with ease, it can help ultimately help you and your relationship. Here are some money scenarios your man might encounter and how you should react:
Issue: A Debt Collection Letter Comes For Him In the Mail. Well, this is the first red flag that something is up. Your partner could just be going through a rough patch with medical bills, school and auto loans, or credit card debt, but it could also be something more than that. When you’re in a relationship, privacy is a big issue. So to not seem as if you’re violating your significant other’s privacy, mention the letter in a direct, yet supportive tone. It’s all about wording in this situation, as men can get defensive when it comes to money matters. Instead sit down and implement a little “Economic CPR”, where you ‘C’ommunicate, ‘P’lan, and ‘R’eview your finances together.
Issue: His Card Gets Declined at Dinner. When the waiter comes back and says he needs an alternative form of payment this can be a little embarrassing for both of you. Don’t be embarrassed, and don’t argue with the waiter. It always makes the situation worse. Instead, if you have the funds, discretely offer to pay for the bill. You could whisper it, or you could take out your card under the table and hand it to your partner or you come up with another creative way to get the bill settled.
Issue: He Can’t Afford the Ring You Want. That’s a scary thought, I know! But calm down. If your significant other is not financially stable enough to afford a $5,390 diamond ring (that’s the average cost of a diamond engagement ring in 2010), then don’t attack him or continue to play Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” on repeat. Do some soul searching and see if you will be ok with a smaller ring that fits his budget or are you willing to wait for an extended amount of time to get the ring that you desire. Let him know whichever option works for you. Also, check your family history, some families have engagement rings that have been passed down from generation to generation, if either of your families have one of these heirlooms; it can make the engagement process a whole less expensive.
Whether you have the money or you don’t— the important thing is to talk about it. If your man doesn’t have enough funds, don’t judge, but speak to him in a calm and supportive manner. If you come on too strong, it is possible that he may put on a defensive attitude. Most marital disputes stem from financial matters, so if you guys are thinking about heading down that road make time to talk about the dollars, quarters, nickels, dimes and even the pennies.