Gaining & Maintaining Control Over Your Love Life

Have you ever been in a situation where you've met a great guy, spent a lot of time with him, and then found yourself in that awkward "where do we go from here" space after weeks, months, and possibly even years of time spent? Have you ever dreaded having that talk with him? Have you ever found the balls to express how you feel and ask him where he wants this "thing" to go only to get some unclear, indecisive answer that only leaves you a little more confused than before and slightly disappointed that he possibly does not plan on moving forward with you? Sucks, right?

Believe it or not, women go through this daily and a lot of women go through it often. It's not always because they deal with bad guys or because they're a bad woman. The reasons vary, however, something isn't right! Enough of these let downs after coming so far with someone emotionally and/or physically can drive a woman to the point of instability so lets fix it because the solution is simple.

If you want different results in any aspect of your life, you have to be ready to do something different. From this point, let go of any past disappointments from your former beaus. Self pity will not get you anywhere. It puts you in the mindset that you are always the victim and in order for your situations to change, everyone around you must change (which is a very unrealistic and crippling mindset to have). The purpose of letting go is not just because it feels a whole hell of a lot better but because it also changes your expectations. If you're constantly expecting to get hurt, you're only going to attract those types of situations and lead yourself into more pain and disappointment. Not cool.. So let it GO!

The next step is to figure out what you really want and what you're ready for. Do you want to be in a relationship? If so, why? Do you feel like another person will make you feel complete? How are things going in other areas of your life? Are you ok with where things are in your life financially, academically (if you're a student), spiritually? What are your problem areas, as a person? What are your strengths? What do you have to offer? You have to ask yourself questions like this and answer them honestly. It cannot be avoided. You have to address the good in your life as well as the areas that need improvement! It's easy to say that you would like to be in a relationship but you have to make sure that you want it for the right reasons. If your financial situation isn't good, for example, and you're seriously struggling to make ends meet, do you really need to put your focus on another person? Or does it make a little more sense to keep the focus on yourself and making things right in your life before you share it with another person? Think about that. Honesty isn't always about the other person and it damn sure doesn't start when you meet someone. It starts before.